Wednesday, August 8, 2012

WEDNESDAY HODGEPODGE

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1. In an effort to combat obesity, the mayor of NYC has plans to ban the sale of large sugary drinks (anything over 16 oz.), initially in restaurants, movie theatres, and street carts. Corner stores would also be affected if they are defined as food service establishments. You can read more here . Your thoughts?
I understand his concerns but I don't necessarily think that will stop the obesity problem and it will surely hurt sales in those stores. We can't control people's bad habits. Maybe doing strong ads on TV or billboards to get people thinking about their health. I stopped drinking soda at least 15 years ago. It is just as important to warn people about the aspartame in their diet drinks!

2. Art festival, music festival, food festival...which would you most like to attend?
All of the above and normally if I were not living a low carb lifestyle I would put them in this order: Food Festival, Art Festival and Music Festival but now the food would most likely be last.

3. What are you irrational about?
Definitely infidelity. My mind can play horrible tricks on me and I can jump to irrational thoughts in no time. It can be as simple as my husband falling asleep in his room when he is out of town and for me he is out somewhere cheating on me. This does come from being deeply hurt several times in the past.

I work very hard on this behavior and have to do a form of cognitive therapy on myself. After 24 years of being back together the struggle is not as hard but can be triggered with the simplest of acts. This is also difficult on my husband because he has to be very careful on his end not to set that trigger off.  I could write a book about this and I had a trigger that happened this weekend.

4. Do you feel confident you'll have a comfortable retirement?
Yes but it will not be the same as our lifestyle today. We will definitely have to budget in order to continue to do things we enjoy like spoiling our children!

5. What's been your favorite Olympic moment so far?
(Not ever, just in the 2012 Summer games)
I have to say Michael Phelps winning all the medals and surpassing Olympic records. I was a little concerned when he lost that first race that maybe he should have not come back but he definitely redeemed himself. Running a very close second would be the team for the woman's gymnastics. Absolutely loved watching them!

6. What would you label as the messiest room in your house?
I think it would be my office.

7. Do you follow your heart or your head?
I think I still follow both sometimes but after being burned too many times you have a tendency to think things out more.  Now only if I could do that with shopping :)

8. Insert your own random thought here.
If I peaked your interest on question #3 I am going to give you the issue that happened this weekend. As you know I am in Florida with my Dad. (Having a great time by the way!) One of the reasons I came to Florida was for a distraction because Mark was going to Houston for a weekend bachelor party for his brother. It was a golf weekend. Now if I was home I would have a hard time with this. Bachelor parties are not in my liking and you can imagine where my thoughts go.

So over the years we have had a pattern where Mark calls me when he gets back in his hotel for the evening. Now living in California helps with that because normally when he travels he is a later time zone so being out late with customers still brings his call fairly early in California even if he is out until midnight. So for me when I get that call my mind is at peace. I had a boss once who said to me "but what if he calls you and goes back out?"  Well I can't go in that direction so I put my trust in his call and can sleep peacefully.

So on Friday night he sent me a gmail. Unbelievably pissed was I. You don't send me an email saying it's going to be a late night. You call me or maybe text me. It was so strange to get that email. Boy did I send him a nasty one back. Then he called but no way would I answer the phone. I was hurt and he knew it.

Well come to find out the next morning the email had a cute picture attached of the guys. Well it never attached to my email.  He said in a text to me, I didn't think you would get so angry about the picture. Then I told him there was no picture attached and I just thought he was sending me a frickin' email about staying out late. That's how simple it can happen. We ended this one with a smile.

I know you may think I'm a little overboard with my thoughts and I agree but unless you have been deeply hurt by a loved one you really can't understand the pain involved. I also know that there are those who will say "I would never take my husband back if he cheated on me" and I use to say that too but when it happens your heart changes.

Didn't mean to be so deep here but when I feel something on my heart and I know it is God who wants me to share this with you. If I'm nothing else I am always honest. Marriage is not always a bed of roses but it is definitely worth it.



21 comments:

Godsgalnj said...

I actually understand a little bit of the irrationality, having been burned myself by a loved one. I'm sorry that trusting is a little hard, but I'm glad you have such an understanding husband. Hang on to him - he's a keeper! Awesome men like him are hard to come by! :)

Keetha Broyles said...

I HATE the idea of laws governing the size of a soda sale. RIDICULOUS.

Are there going to be soda police?

As if our government isn't already too involved in poking their nose into our business.

What is going to stop a person from buying ONE soda at one food establishment, then going to another and buying another?

Or - - - are they going to remove the self-sever machines? I always buy a small drink and refill my cup if I'm still thirsty.

I would think the government should have some REAL issues to deal with - - - like protecting our shores - - - and leave things like what kinds and how large of drinks we drink alone.

Will they be making laws next about how many OUNCES of each food item are allowed to be sold????????

Simply ridiculous.

I for one do NOT NEED the government to try to THINK for me. God gave me a brain which I fully intend to continue using.

Now, I wonder how I REALLY feel about this. HA!!!

Trennia said...

My heart goes out to you no one understands unless they have been there.
While my husband has not cheated there have been trying times in our lives and it does make everything harder to deal with.
You are right marriage is not a bed of roses and if someone thinks it is they are bond to get stuck by thorns...but marriage is worth it.

Joyce said...

My heart goes out to you too...I am imagining your anxiety. I'm glad this one ended with a smile. Enjoy your time with your dad : )

LynnMarie said...

Unless someone walks in your shoes, with your life, they need to keep their feeling to themselves. I am glad that you continue to work on your marriage ad good for your husband for sticking with it as well.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I think the soda law is absurd...100% agree with Keetha on that issue!
I understand your fears on the infidelity issue too. My first husband cheated and at first we tried to reconcile, but soon that ended and he is now married to the woman he cheated with. Anyway, I can only imagine how paranoid I'd have been all the time if we had stayed together. Especially since your husband travels (mine did too, he was a truck driver and that's where he met the woman he cheated with). I hope your husband does everything he can to help you and be sure NOT to trigger your fear (and it sounds like he does).
And thank you for sharing that, I know it's hard.

Nani said...

I agree that the government needs to educate not police food. Maybe the bad choices people make are part of natural selection...

I'm fortunate in my husband having a very public job and an obsessive hobby. I check the paper's website before I start dinner to see if he'll be working late. Then if it's sunny after work, he's likely stopped to photograph trains and he's happy as a little kid to show the photos when he gets home.

But I do deal with other things at home. I don't like to nag, but I know when he promises to do something in the house, it's probably going to get done in 2 months. In that time I get stressed about his feelings for me because what I want doesn't seem important.

He really is just absent-minded because when I start trying to do it myself ha freaks and asks me why I didn't ask him to do it.

{{{hugs, Debby!}}}

Kathy ... aka Nana said...

I'm so glad that your latest anxiety ended with a smile. Once trust has been broken, it's so very hard to ever fully trust again, isn't it? {{hug}}

Chatty Crone said...

I am sorry you are so hurt - it really ran deep - hugs.

I think I would go to the food festival part first - still.

Love, sandie

Kathy said...

I, too, am glad you ended your misunderstanding with a smile :) Wishing you and hubby many more happy days ahead, too...

Love Bears All Things said...

Our imagination does drive us crazy sometimes....I've had a couple of bad experiences where my husband forgot to call....once on a flight for business(he always calls when he arrives at the hotel or the business if he goes there first) being human, sometimes he forgets. I go crazy thinking of all sorts of scenarios.
I'm glad you're enjoying time with your Dad. I cherish the time I had with mine.
Mama Bear

Cathy said...

That must be very hard to deal with, but I'm glad you have learned to deal with it and that you feel your marriage is worth the effort.

Tami Von Zalez said...

Popped in from the Hodgepodge ~ Is Skye a yorkie? Lurvs those little fellas.

thriftshopcommando.blogspot.com

Renegades said...

Offices must be a catch all........

Renegades said...

Offices must be a catch all........

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

The soda law irritates me. So you can order and consume and entire XL pizza but you can't get a 24 ounce soda. Stupid.

Pam Lofton said...

I know just how you feel. My mind used to do that all the time. I won't go into the long details but, over the years, the husband has exhibited some very suspicious behavior that involves drinking and disappearing for the night or up to 3 days or more. I used to get so upset by it all but not willing to give up being able to stay home with my girls. Unfortunately, it has now led to a relationship that is damaged, most likely, beyond repair. Once the trust has been violated, it's really tough to even consider getting it back.

Memoirs of Me & Mine said...

I really enjoyed reading your responses. Thanks for sharing.
http://www.memoirsofmeandmine.com/

Theresa said...

Very similar for #7 ;)
Enjoy your time in FL with your Dad :)

nancygrayce said...

I think the government is trying to regulate our every move. You can't legislate bad behavior....and anyhow, if someone wants to keep drinking sugary drinks they will just buy another one!

I loved the Olympics and especially the swimming and gymnastics although there were some heart stopping moments!

I was just having a talk with my son about marriage and how hard it is and how important trust is to both parties. He and his wife of less than two years are having difficulties...duh!? I told him that marriage is a full time job and he better start trying to work harder. Difference in his generation and mine? We would have never told our parents our problems! I didn't tell mine I was having marital problems until I was ready to walk out the door! Sigh!

I do think as women we tend to be inclined to jump to the worst conclusions...:) You could ask my husband about that!!!

Debbie said...

Deb,
My husband travels also and calls me every evening at 9:00 on the dot. I went through all the same feelings when he didn't call a few times and finally came to realize (and I told him) I couldn't live with constant suspicion and imaginations. I told him, also, that if he finds someone that's worth leaving our 37 year marriage (today's our anniversary), five kids and spouses, and grandchildren, then do it fast and leave me alone. And if he ever gives me reason to doubt his fidelity, just stay in the hotel room.
I know that seems harsh, but at my age 56, I don't have time to mess around with stupidity, and I have a bucket list I plan to work on anyway.
Your fear is very common, but I've decided not to live in fear. I just go on and try to make him glad he's still with me.
Have a wonderful weekend, my CA friend!

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