Saturday, January 23, 2016

A SEASON OF CHANGE

We all experience season's in our lives when things change. Sometimes the changes are fantastic and amazing, other times there is sadness and pain. They are part of our life and we have no choice but to live through them and trust in God's plan for us. 

Ecclesiastes 3: 1  NIV "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens"

If you have followed me for awhile you will know that I am pretty open and honest. This blog is our family history.  A place where I hope future generations can know who we are or get to know me, my likes, dislikes and more. Of course I don't share everything, some details may be left out for the protection of others.

If you remember, I posted about a time when our daughter and son in law were moving in with us after the economy collapsed. Where has that time gone, it is almost six years ago! I've also written about him moving out and that they were going to get a divorce. That hasn't happened yet and they spend all their free time together although he doesn't live here anymore. 

We did however decide to make their TV room into a guest room again for when Adam and Tristen visit. I've written about Adam and Tristen getting engaged and moving away to Pittsburgh after Christmas 2014. I most recently wrote about Adam resigning from his job and calling Pittsburgh home which meant we wouldn't be seeing him every month when he came to work a week in the office in LA. This of course was going to be a huge adjustment for me in 2016. 

I also wrote about our Christmas 2015 and how awesome it was.  Now I am writing to tell you about a new season we are going through. Something that has taken us by surprise and changed our world. As of  Friday, January 8th,  Adam is here with us and living in that extra guest room. He and Tristen have broken up, going their separate ways after 10 years together. 

It is so sad and we are all in shock.  We welcomed our son with open arms and we are thankful we had a place for him to come. He is a strong level headed man but I know his heart is shattered. 

He has been able to talk about it which is a good thing. His spirits are good and he is hopeful about the future. Your prayers are welcomed.

One thing I do know is that we cannot heal the hearts of others. We can be here for them, console them, listen to them and hug them but only time will heal their pain. 

Of course this is a different level of pain that is deeper and so different from when our children scraped their knees as children. 

Maybe it was when they didn't get the grade they wanted or game they didn't win, the friends that bullied them, the college that didn't accept them or the job offer that didn't come through. We couldn't heal their hearts then either but sometimes M&M's or cookies and milk helped. 

Wish that was the answer now.......

24 comments:

Sandra said...

that scripture verse says it all, and so did you. change is something we cannot control. will pray for the right decisions to be made and for strength for all of you once living together again in one home.

Mara said...

I am so sorry for Adam and Tristen. They always looked like such a happy couple.

And perhaps M&M's or cookies and milk might not help the way they did when he was younger, but they never hurt either!

I wish you all a lot of strength.

Little Penpen said...

Oh no! I am so sorry. I'm sure your heart is breaking for him. It's wonderful that he still has his mama to help heal his pain.

Cathy said...

I'm so sorry. Life is not very easy. Thankfully we have God to walk it with us and to carry us when needed.

Mary said...

I know this was an extremely difficult post for you to write. My heart is still aching for Adam, and for you. As mothers, it's so hard to see our kids hurting, no matter how old they are.
There's something (and someone) out there for him. And it's (and she's) going to be the answer to his prayers! :)

Denise said...

such sad news, praying for your family.

Karen Mortensen said...

Very good post. I am just so sorry for Adam. But he has a good family to help him through this. All the best to everyone.

betty said...

Oh Debby this is just so sad; I am so sorry. It is good that Adam knew he could come back to stay with you guys as he transitions to what he might be doing next; maybe not milk and cookies can heal his heart, but his loving family supporting him will definitely help in the long run. I would imagine he'll do just fine as time goes on.

betty

KC Bob said...

So sorry for this painful season. For you and Adam both.

Joyce said...

I continue to keep your son and your family in my prayers during what I know is a painful time. Hugs to you Debby xo

Chatty Crone said...

I love that verse in Ecclesiastes. I am so sorry for Adam, your family, and Tristen that everything that at once was so beautiful has turned sour. I am glad you were there for Adam. You know you can't tell a kid when they are 15 - just wait the problems you have now are nothing - but it is true - the older you get the harder the problems, but I guess to a 15 year old the problems are just as big. Got off on a tangent - I will pray!

Mevely317 said...

Debby, I'm so sorry your family's hearts are hurting!
I'm praying that peace soon takes hold in Adam's heart ... followed by a big old dose of hope for what may come.

TexWisGirl said...

i'm so very sad for them and you. she is a bright young woman and i know you welcomed her into your family with open arms, too. it is hard for all involved to have it end. bless you all.

NanaNor's said...

Dear one, I loved reading all the comments above-you have many praying for your loved ones! Tristen is in the perfect place and I know the love of family will help him walk through this, but mainly only the Lords hand will heal his pain. You are right in that a mother's love always hurts for her children-adult or young.
Hugs,
Noreen

Love Bears All Things said...

Well, I've been there. My Daughter's husband decided he didn't want to be married anymore in January of 2011 and since she couldn't afford to stay in the house with just her income, she moved out that summer. Then a year later he was diagnosed with lymphoma. In February of last year, he passed away and she moved back into that house where she and the children have adjusted to a new kind of life.....you're right, we hurt for them, and don't really know what to do except to be there for them. You don't mention children so I don't know if there are any. Sounds like your Daughter and her husband are still in love with each other, I pray it works out for them to live together again...I'll be praying for your son and for you in the coming weeks as he adjusts.
Mama Bear

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

I'm glad he has a safe place to go. It's always nice to know, even as an adult, you always have a home if you need it. I am sorry he had to go though this.

Carla from The River said...

Sending a HUG!
I am glad he could come home. xx oo
And I agree with Lisa, it is a great feeling to know you have a home to go to. A place you are loved.
I will pray.
Carla

Debbie said...

I guess all of us mom's of adult children understand the pain of WANTING to fix things for them, and just not being able to anymore. I hate watching my kids go through hard times. My two oldest sons BOTH lost their first wives. One to cancer, and one to a sudden heart aneurysm. Devastating losses for them both. Neither one of them came back home after that and oh how I wish they had! I worried so about what they were eating [or not eating] or what they were doing etc. How fortunate your son is to have you to lean on right now and get him through this hard time, and how I know you feel better being there for him. Divorce is just never easy. Yes, life is hard, and how I thank our God that we have our families and friends to help us through. Praying for your family. Blessings! Debbie

Sharon said...

Oh Debby, I am so very sorry. This must have come as quite a shock for all involved. I'm glad that Adam has a home and a loving family to surround him at this time. And hey, maybe some cookies and milk couldn't hurt...

Prayers for he and Tristen. And maybe God will work a miracle.

GOD BLESS.

April said...

Debby...I just now saw this post about Adam and Tristen. I am so very sorry! I certainly didn't see that coming. I figured they'd be tying the knot soon. Please your son's heart. I will be praying for his heart to heal. I can only imagine the pain he's going through. God is with him...never doubt that for a minute!

Simone said...

I haven't been here for awhile but your blog has been a favorite place to visit. I'm so sorry that visiting, there is sad news. But, somehow, what we see as impossible can easily become possible. Praying that their hearts return them back to one anothers arms and if not, that healing takes place and they both find happiness.

maddie/cadesmimi said...

Debby,
I just scrolled back to see why your heart is so broken, and read this post. I am SO sorry to read this! Our family has been through similar things, as well, so I know where you're coming from. ((Hugs to all))

Kathy (Reflections)

Alexis AKA MOM said...

OH no I'm so sorry to hear that about Adam. My heart is with him!

nancygrayce said...

I am so sorry! It hurts us so when our children hurt! I am confident there is a happy future, it's just the waiting that is so difficult!!!

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