I've been home a week now and I'm still exhausted both physically and mentally. I think last Thursday's trip home took everything I had. My body aches from my hips down without any end in sight.
Mentally I just can't seem to get my act together. Little frustrations here and there which I'm working through. How can three adults living in the house not wash the kitchen dish towels while I'm out of town for 18 days or at least grab clean ones from the drawer!
I won't get into the other things because they are just things that I have to get over. Thankfully Amber did wash the floors and vacuumed the house. Of course when I got home she sat on a bar stool and said "this is really dusty"....duh!! I've been out of the house for 18 days. Anyone think of dusting? If nothing else just to please me!
So a fair amount of sadness has taken over inside of me. Of course I miss my dad and he is missing me something terrible which saddens my heart. I had a conversation with my dad one day and he shared with me that he is having trouble dealing with slowing down. I just wanted to break into tears.
Sure I felt bad for him but I started feeling really sad for me. I told him that he is so blessed to be slowing down at 93! I had to change my life 18 years ago and have to push myself to get things done. I do not have his energy and I'm feeling so jealous of what I won't have in the future. Please forgive my selfishness here. I know I am blessed to be alive and very thankful to God for that.
I'm not ready to give up but I'm not sure how to move forward. OK....OFF MY SOAPBOX!
So I had to push myself this week to get out on Wednesday and Thursday. I had things that were scheduled in advance before my trip. Needed to take Adam to the airport on Wednesday morning to pick up a rental car for his trip up to Big Sur which he is currently hiking at. So I dropped him off and went to get a pedicure along with picking up a few groceries.
Wednesday night Amber and I had a dinner planned with a former co-worker from our days at Pam's Hallmark. She is moving back to her home state so we got together for a dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. It was a great evening and we talked for close to three hours! Thankfully we have Facebook to keep in touch.
On Thursday I had two scheduled doctor's appointments. I had an opthamologist appointment at 9:15 am. I decided to go have my eye's checked. Something I haven't done in probably 20 years. Thought I would see where my eyes were at with cataracts. All went well, no issues at this time.
I am going to go for some other testing but it is to get a baseline to follow in the future for glaucoma. She didn't see any signs of it now but because of my steroid use over the last 40 years it can be one of the side effects. I do have to say that I did not enjoy the dilation of the eyes at all.
Next up was my first visit ever with a dermatologist. I have a very small tag forming on my eyelid so I thought I would have it looked at. Of course tags are no longer covered by insurance but I will get it removed along with others that seem to show up under the breasts. I haven't scheduled that appointment yet but I will.
The good news is that he didn't see any major signs of sun damage at all and no signs of anything else forming on my body which was great news. He said the only thing I am guilty of is extremely dry skin on my arms and legs. I told him I moisturize all the time but he wants me to stop using all lotions.
I need to start using a thick cream with mineral oil in it. He suggested Excipial which I picked up at CVS but will search for some better prices online. I have to admit it really keeps my skin hydrated all day long. I have always bought high end moisturizer like SIBU so I will continue to use up the stock I have right now. I always shopped big when they have their buy one get one sales!
So that's what is going on in my neck of the woods. I am going to keep pushing myself, get moving more and make the most out of my life. I have a bucket list trip coming up in month from today and I need all my strength for this one!!!
Sorry for the long post but I felt I needed to share where I'm at today......
Have a wonderful weekend.