I need your help. I adore blogging. It brings me great pleasure but it consumes my day. I should be cleaning the house. I should be reading a good book. I should be out shopping. I should be sitting at a machine at the casino. I should be outside playing with Skye or taking her for a walk. Yes I should be exercising too! I think about these things all the time but here I sit.
When we were in our twenties we played a game called Aggravation with our dear couple friends. It is a game where you have four marbles that must go around the board from your start position to home. We use to joke about overextending yourself. That would be putting all four of our marble out on the board at the same time. More chances of someone landing on your marble and sending back to start. I am feeling overextended with my blogging.
My finger is always ready to push that follow button. Obviously I can't follow everyone but God knows I am trying. Eventually I had issues with following in Google Friend Connect. My dear friend Headless Mom taught me how to use reader. Haven't had any restrictions in reader. So I don't actually push the button all the time but I do follow lots of people in reader. (like close to 600) So I can't read everyone, that would be impossible.
I started out by following everyone who follows me. I thought that was the kindest of gestures. I still believe in that plan. Now if those were the only people I followed I wouldn't be in the mess I am in. I have to say that I have allot of people I really enjoy reading. I comment wherever I go. I know some of the people I read have so many followers that there is no way they could read each of them. Heck they get so many comments each day that I don't even know how they handle that.
Do you? That is what I need to know. How do these people handle it? I have heard that some people only go over to visit the people who comment on their blog. I get that, I really do but I don't want to visit someone just because they left me a comment. So I only read them if they comment on my blog, that just doesn't seem right. It's like I'll scrub your back if you scrub mine. Now if that is common practice and how most people handle their blogs I want to know that from you. I would appreciate your input.
My regular commenter's are not the issue. I know who they are, we are now friends and I love reading them too. I visit them regularly even if they didn't comment on a particular day. What do you do when you enjoy reading other blogs but they never visit you, do you keep reading them or fly away?
I do not go over to meet new people because I want them to come over and follow me. That is not how I roll. I usually go over because someone mentions them in their post so I go and check them out. Don't we all do that? So how do I change my reading of blogs? I will often start reading blogs at 7am and I would be sitting here to 1pm. It isn't like that anymore, I can be here ALL DAY LONG. I will break and take a shower but it consumes my day.
How do you pick and choose? I don't want to hurt anyone along the way. As I go forward I am finding more friends. My regulars will always be my regulars so don't stop over and say "you don't have to read me", this isn't about you. Do I stop going to new blogs when I see them or someone recommends them?
I would appreciate you sharing your blog reading with me. How do you decide who to read, who to follow and who to let go of. I really need to get a handle on this so blogging doesn't get me down. I can't just turn it off after two hours, that doesn't work for me. I really need to limit my reading list. My blog roll use to consist of my followers. I had to stop doing that because listing 100 and something people on your page is hard. Actually I need to change mine. How do you decide who to list?
I see how the percentage seems to pan out. Not every follower is going to comment everyday. Some never comment. On a good day I will get about 30 something in comments. I love them, it's so much fun. Those women who have thousands of followers will get several hundred comments. How do you feel when you make a comment to someone and you know the only reason they came over is because you commented on their blog? Like I said earlier if this is how it works for most people then I will join in on that.
Okay I know this is too many questions. I'm just interested in hearing how you read blogs. Any advice you can give me would really be appreciated. I also want to know if you answer each comment. I do, I think it's the best part. For those of you who are NO-REPLY I wish you would change it. I understand your need for privacy and respect that. Just know that if I could reply to your comment I would each and every time! I don't want you to think that your comment doesn't mean something to me. It does but I just can't reply to it!
Thank you for listening, I appreciate the time you took to read this post. Debby
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47 comments:
Blogging can definately get out of hand!
First, I have noticed that I usually get an e-mail from you after every time I comment. I am thinking you probably do this for most everyone. I love the e-mail and the comment back, but at the same time I think that must take you so much time. So that is an area that you could cut back on. I don't think that most people write an e-mail back for all of their comments - just here and there.
Also, I usually post 2-3 times a week on average. I don't feel the need to have a post out there everyday and I know that is tiring for people trying to keep up with my blog.
Many of the blogs I enjoy post daily because I think they feel they have to. I find myself visiting blogs 2- 3 times a week so I just "catch up" with them at that time, but I really appreciate those who only post 2 or 3 times a week. I have made certain days of the week a time that I don't get on my computer at all because once you sit down it is hard to get back up!
And I am with you - I don't like a comment for a comment thing. I comment because I enjoy it but if the post gives you nothing to say then no worries. However, I have people that I visit their blog and commment for months and I never get any feedback from them - there is a type of relationship that forms at a certain point so these people I may visit their blog from time to time but they are not blogs I will regularly visit after a time because maybe they just don't like my blog...and that's OK.
Sorry for the novel but this is a great topic. I think alot of people wonder about this stuff.
P.S. I just realized I posted everyday this week - LOL - I don't usually do that. That is also why I turn the comments off sometimes. LOL
I don't think I worry too much about the 'rules' of blogging, like you I would sit all day!! I comment on things that I have a thought on and I don't expect any comments, then I'm pleasantly surprised when I get one!!
I think Cherie gives a lot of good advice! I would love to visit every blog on my blogroll every time there's a new post, but there's just not enough time in the day! (Especially with two little ones!) I try to visit my favorites about once a week, and I don't usually reply to comments through my email. I also make sure that blogging stays fun, and doesn't become a chore. We'll still love you if you don't visit our blogs every day!
as a SAHWW (wife instead of mom, since my kiddos are gone now, sniff) i struggle with my desire to connect with people and my responsibilities to work. because i work from home, i feel really isolated and i have found my online community to be a real oasis.
i have a blogroll where i've added people i like to read, their lives and stories are compelling or they're just plain hilarious.
i don't have a ton of followers, and i have learned to be okay with that. mostly i think because i don't have the time to go out and comment on everything i read. and i don't have time to read everything i want to. but i never lurk. if i look, and read, i almost always comment. but i must admit, for people who get 50 - 1000 comments a day, i feel like i don't have anything more to say that hasn't already been said.
i've established "friendships" here in the blogging realm (something that i don't even discuss with my husband because frankly i think he'd be pissed that i spend some of my "precious worktime" spent online with "strangers." he so does not get it)
i used to work in an office with other creatives. we shared office space and ideas and spurred one another on. when finances became tight, i moved my office home. i came grudgingly. i need community. and this is how i get it.
i don't feel obligated to comment back via an email, although sometimes i do. i feel like i can return the thanks by continuing the conversation via their blog.
i'm rambling here (ha, what's new!!?) but i thought you asked some really good questions.
I subscribe to a lot of blogs, but I don't read them all every day. I try to read about 20 per day and comment on the ones I really have something to say about. If I read them all then I'd be stuck at the computer all day and we all have better things to do! Also, you don't need to feel guilty about not commenting or having to drop someone from your reader because a) they never come around here anymore, b) you don't find them terribly interesting, or c) you just have to cut some people! Blogging is supposed to be fun, not a burden. Enjoy it!
Also, I eliminated my blog roll because I would always forget to update it and it took up too much space on my page. Wordpress doesn't really have a good place for one, so that's my excuse now!
Hey Debby-
I wish that I had some good advice for your but I don't. I just know that you must have a huge heart to want to follow all of these woman's (do men even blog?) lives via their posts.
Personally, I don't have many followers and don't get a lot of comments so I get excited to read them when I do. I can tell you that I do want to follow more blogs and there are many that I am tempted to push the "follow" button on, but I just don't have the time.
It's such a great community and I've received more support from this than any other way since Nate died. I can totally understand your dilemma.
Love ya!!!
Trisha
I love blogging and the fact that you may be able to meet so many people from around the world. I follow about ten to fifteen blogs (probably, don't know the exact number) and try to comment on those blogs most of the time. Because I will sometimes be away from home for days on end, I don't always get the chance to read all the posts of that week.
I certainly don't comment on every comment left to me: I would go mental I think. Sometimes I try to comment within the comments, but sometimes it's worthy of a post by itself.
You are the only one who can decide which blogs to follow less (say once a week), whether you want to comment on every single comment (which by the way is very thoughtful) or want to comment in your comments or not at all.
Hope you will find more time to sit at the slot machines...
Man, I could have written this post! I am sitting here right now, for example.....and I should be doing other stuff....like cleaning house. I did put my sheets in the washer so I could say I had been productive!
I love reading other's blogs. I get on a roll sometimes. Like right now I'm fascinated by birth mother blogs. I think because my sister's son is adopted.
I sometimes put blogs on my computer's favorites. That way I'll only read them when I specifically look for them.
It's a problem, but I don't think I have the answer! :)
I have no rhyme or reason with my following...I guess it matters on the day! I think you should just follow, read and comment on those that you enjoy!
Sometimes "blogging" feels like highschool and that's when I just step away!
Have a good Saturday!
Sandy Toe
I try to follow and read all those who follow me and I also follow many others whether they follow me or not. I try to be a good commentor...at least letting the writer know I came by.
Hugs, andrea
I read a lot of blogs that have never once commented on my blog. That's actually just fine with me because I only read blogs that interest me. If someone comments on my blog and when I read theirs and am not interested, I don't go back but maybe once a month or so to see if they've changed their format or topic.
I do not (as a rule) send emails back when someone comments on my blog but I do try every so often to answer people in the comment section. I don't want to spend the time answering all comments. I'm just assuming they know I truly enjoyed their comment :)
I seriously don't worry about all the things you mentioned. I just write, photograph, blog, read, comment and laugh and cry at all that I read.
I think I worry more about my grammar than I do about my faithful followers and the blogs I love to read. :)
Somedays I go thru the blogs I "follow" and try to pop in all of them. Most of the time....I only get half way thru the list and well....life happens to get in the way! LOL.
I don't feel guilty about not getting to every commenter or if days fly by when I don't post. I actually only post when something gets placed on my heart....so I try not to post a filler or fluff just for the sake of posting.
I think you should just keep blogging (reading, writing and commenting) a fun thing, not a stressful thing.
I actually recently took your approach and set up a list of "Must Read" blogs on my Google Reader and then another list for all my other blogs. Every day I read the "Must Reads" and then I read the others only if I have time. At the end of the day, if there are any left in the pile that weren't "Must Reads," then I mark them all as read and move on.
As for how I picked the ones for the "Must Read" pile, I basically knew which blogs I was constantly visiting and commenting on consistently so those were the ones I originally added to the "Must Read" list and I do add to it if I find myself consistently visiting a new blog.
I follow everyone that follows me plus anything that I feel like following. Guess I don't have system at all...haha.
By the way, I don't feel I have to do this but I want to. Thank you for visiting my blog and commenting. I have a bunch of people I follow almost daily. I comment when and if I have something to say. There are others I read sometimes. And if someone new pops up in comments I try to check them out. Some I visit never come see me much and some come often. If I see a post that doesn't particularly interest me, I try not to worry about not reading it or not posting. I'm trying to keep this all from being a chore and letting it stay as something I enjoy. I've often wondered about a lot of the things you've talked about today though.
I don't reply back to people's comments unless they ask a question. I just don't have the time for that.
Out of courtesy, when someone comments, I return the favor.
If I have a busy week, I'll only post once or twice. If I post everyday, I have tons of payback...again, a time issue.
I tend to give up if I comment several times and never hear back. I'm in this for the friendship, and it's hard to be someone's friend when I do all the talking.
Lastly, I know some people don't even read my posts, you can tell by their comments, like "great post!" or "this is such a blessing!" Or sometimes they scan down to the last paragraph, and just comment on that.
It's nice to get 50 comments on a post, but the numbers don't do much for me anymore. I'd rather have 10 comments from people who actually read my posts. Afterall, I read theirs!
If you're just going to show up on everyone's blogs to say "amen" and then go on your merry way, what's the point?
When I first started blogging I went crazy. Visited every person that visited me, that visited them, that visited them that visited another etc. I have been at blogging almost a year. I have since quieted down. Got the initial blogging bug out of me. I try and make it a point not to blog after a certain time each day. I need my beauty rest. Ha!
Great post Debby, thanks!
Hi Debby, I try to visit nd comment on everyone who comments on my blog but sometimes I am unable to especially when I am away on a tip and you know I travel a lot. But I also visit and comment on people that I follow, at least I try but I am unable to do that sometimes too. I am just hoping bloggers would understand b/c I am sure they are also in the same boat...Christine
it all gets terribly confusing sometimes doesn't it?!?!
i normally only follow blogs that i ADORE without a doubt, or even if i don't ADORE the blog in general.. i think the blog owner is sweet... and no, i don't go blog hopping around just to get comments and followers either.. i blog hop to explore and find new things... but if i follow someone and they don't comment at my place.. i'll keep reading them and i'll keep commenting but maybe NOT every day.. you know who my every day regulars are! the ones who do visit me, the ones i feel like i DO have a kinship with... they get my comments and visit almost everyday..
Deb, yes Logan liked his fry. =) He got pretty upset when daddy took it away.
Now to the bloggig issue. There comes a point in tie when you have to draw the line somewhere. I follow lots of people and see that they have posted but don't always visit every single post to read...just the ones that catch my interest. And the seasons change. One month I'm really into 8 blogs, the next month these can be different. Of course you always have your core group of favs that you have to visit!
I agree with those above. Everyone understands because everyone has the same problem.
By the way, thanks for your donation to March of Dimes. The team I am marching on and marched on last year is a former preemie patient of mine that I was the primary nurse of. She's very special, lost her twin brother when they were a month old but she is absolutely amazing. Thanks for helping us in the fight for all babies to be born healthy!
Wow, there are so many good comments here, I don't know why I'm commenting. Usually that's what I'd do: read the post and move on. But with your questions that just didn't seem right.
I, too, like to keep blogging enjoyable, so I assume there are no hard and fast rules. Other than followers, though, there are only a few other bloggers I keep up with. That's enough for me.
I'll be waiting for your comment on my blog..lol.
I feel overwhelmed at times too but have made so many awesome friendships from blogging. I try to comment whenever I can and I do try to respond to everyone who comments on mine. Courtesy thing. Sarah
Debby...I have no answers. I try to keep in contact with my followers, but with watching my Grandboys during the week I don't get to it everyday.
You have such a kind and caring heart, that you just love everyone...we your followers are blessed to know you!!!
Great post Debby. You've brought up some great questions and concerns that I struggle with every day.
I love to blog. I love to see what's going on in the lives of the bloggers that follow me and who I follow.
BUT... I also love my life too. If I don't get out there and live my real life with the people who I truly love, I just won't have anything to blog about!
I really don't have any rhyme or reason how I go about reading and commenting. Sometimes I just check my reader and see who's currently posting something and I'll check in with them, sometimes I'll find a tweet that sends me to someone's blog and sometimes I wonder how somebody is doing who I haven't seen in a bit and make a conscious effort to check in with them.
Although I would love to check in with everyone everyday, there is just no possible way I could do that. I never expect someone to check in with me every day either. If they do, it's definitely an added bonus and I love to hear from them. But I certainly don't expect it.
That comment post got a bit rambling. Hope it made some sense.
Anyway... wanted to thank you for coming by and entering my Piggy Paint Giveaway AND for twittering!
Wow you have a lot of comments. I just read blogs periodically. I want to keep up with some of the blogs more often, but it is a lot of work. It can be overwhelming. I just read when I have time and if I miss a few post here and there its no big deal. I try to leave comments when i do read a blog though. You cant let it consume you though. I know it easily can.
Debby you're so kind and are always thinking of others!
I do the same with my regular readers that I comment on to each day, if I miss a day I catch up on those ones. I try to stop by a few news ones each day, and catch up on a few in reader but it's so hard.
I'm the same you follow I follow, you comment I comment. Love it just wish I had more time in the day ;).
Much love my dear!
I love blogging, I like reading and doing my own as well but with working full time, having a daughter and a husband to look after I have had to cut back...way back! Sure I have neglected my blog and I don't get as many commenters as I did before but I feel better about it. I just blog when I get a spare moment. I try not to let it consume my thoughts anymore. I do miss it some days but on the days that I am productive and I wouldn't have been if I were blogging then I feel a sense of accomplishment. I try to catch up if I have missed a few days but sometimes I just start fresh and go from the day that I am reading. I also don't read every single blog in my reader every single day. I have my favorites that I try and read more regularly but if I get to them I do and if I don't then I don't. I don't know if this helps any but good luck!
I found you at Technobabe, you caugrht my attention with the word menopause, I love mine. Then i skim through your profile she the word SHANOWAEN or whatever. Read a few lines of your post. hehehe
And promise to come back... later:)
Well, here's the way I do it. my 'regulars' I always read...but, I may not always comment. And, I may not always answer if they leave a comment. I figure if we are regular readerw, we have established a sort of relationship, and they will not be offended if they do not hear from me every time!
Second, I have a list of other blogs that I like to read...probably 200 names. I usually do a few a day...maybe making it all the way around in a week or a week and a half. These people do not know me, and I do not usually comment on their blog unless it is something I feel very deeply about.
Lots of questions. For me, blogging has to be fun, number one. I don't mean every post I like to read has to be in good cheer or humorous. Some posts are showing a blogger is hurting deeply. I just have some sorts of blogs that I am interested in more than others. I don't want to get the blogging to a place that there are so many rules and regulations (real or imagined) that it isn't enjoyable. I read some blogs regularly. If I am into the subject I comment. If I don't want to leave a comment I don't. I hope every person feels that same way about my posts. Comment if you want to and don't if you don't want to. No hard feelings and no obligations.
I hope you get more comfortable with which blogs to read and when and which to comment on. Some days I don't feel like blogging, so I don't. Of course the reader fills up but if I have to pass on to the next post then so be it. This is a good post and we all have these issues to deal with and have to deal with them in our individual ways. We care about the other bloggers and want the best for them all but must take care of ourselves.
Yes, it can be overwhelming..but I do love it. I blog daily for me..OK, for my sister Kathy as well (she calls me when I'm late!) But, I really do blog for me..and for my history I guess. I don't journal although I've treid, I no longer scrapbook, so I feel this is the scrapbook of my life. I've also felt my world get a bit bigger - visiting 'friends' from Australia, Ireland, England and many other places, so I feel I am learning and growing at the same time. I love the ideas, the crafts, the art that I see and if my word of encouragement can somehow make someone happy, well, that's great as well. Also, I don't really take time away from anything, I do this while Hubby watches TV right next to me. It's my vice and I enjoy is. I think it's just a matter of choices..
I think this is an area that every one of us have to ask the Lord to lead us in. And, I think the answer from the Lord will be different for each person. But I have found that what works for me is to blog only when I feel as if I have something on my heart that I want to get out or record. I do not try to blog just for the sake of getting something published for the day. And I set aside time each day to visit my wonderful blogging friends. I give myself an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon. And sometimes if I am sitting in the evening, watching tv with my family, I will visit a few of my blogging friends then. It keeps it fun for me and not an obligation or a chore. That is how I have been lead to handle it but I do not think that it would work out for everyone's lifestyle or schedule. I pray that the Lord leads you to your perfect timeline too. :)
Another thing is that I do not answer everyone's comment unless they ask a question. That would take a lot more time. And I follow some people who I like their blog and would like to get to know them better but if I visit a dozen times or so and get no reply at all, which really is rude and amazing to me, then i just go on to find some others to befriend. It is not worth my time to have a one sided relationship. And that is what I love about blogging, the relationships. I just love it!!
I spend an easy 8 hours a day on the computer reading and commenting. I have just made SO many friends online that I truly care what they're writing about! Can I visit them every single day? Sometimes, but not always.
I have a hard time not following new blogs when they follow me back.
My dearest friends always get priority, but I have an always growing group of friends and the relationship part of blogging is my biggest reward in doing this.
There are days when I just know I need to be off the computer and I do it. I don't want to burn out.
When I make that major move across the country this summer, I will probably be taking a long time off to get it done and adjust to my new home.
I can't reply to every comment I receive, but I have all of them sent to my email and I read them immediately when they come in.
I hope you find your balance!!!
I've never had a lot of followers or a lot of comments- I think the most I had was on my Moments of Pause blog which was 17. I know I get a lot of hits on that blog and have been contacted by some and I recently learned that many hospitals in Michigan (where I live) are giving it out to people but still I don't have the followers or the comments and I don't quite know why.
I started following most people who follow that blog. The comments bring me back to their blogs faster and I get to my dashboard as much as I can but with four kids at home and now back to work (and starting a blog for my third grade students) my time is definitely more limited. I do comment on everything I read though. I don't understand why more people do- when you read something you usually are moved in one way or another... I would say just go with the flow... I can't imagine keeping up with 600 people! I don't think I've found that many blogs...
(I am getting long winded now..) But I do appreciate when you comment since most of my friends don't comment on there only in person- I wish they'd leave a real comment.
I know I am long winded in this comment- but I also turned both of my blogs into hard cover books which has me posting more on my family blog.
Thanks for always reading though!!
Hugs-
Laura
I can't keep up like I used. I can't comment on everything and that makes me sad but yet this weekend? Migraines over took my days, I didn't read until now. FB games aren't helping they are a time suck I shouldn't be into at all!
I agree 100% with Deborah Ann. That is exactly the way I feel :) This is a great post, and also something I've been trying to manage as well. I don't want this blogging thing to become too consuming.
Great topic! I just read other comments to see what others are saying.
For me, I just get to whoever I can get to. If there are some I didn't get to one day, I try to get to the others the next day or two.
I comment on blogs where they haven't left me a comment all the time. I love reading blogs, plain and simple.
I wouldn't worry about it too much. People are always going to come back to you. You are an interesting blogger who has a lot to say and write about.
Hope that helps :-)
I try to follow everyone that follows me but this whole blog thing has been wonderful for me. I didn't have a lot of support when I had my miscarriages. Also the move to Nevada was something we needed to do job wise but at the same time I miss OHIO and family and friends. It's hard sometimes to keep up w / 4 kids but at the same time I need to blog just for me. Getting those feelings out and if I get a comment or not I'm still happy.
I enjoy it and I try to blog daily but if I don't it's not a big deal.
I enjoy your blog alot too and all the wonderful comments you leave on mine. :)
Caroline
I don't know how you do it! I have 5 or 6 blogs that I keep up with daily, then the rest I visit on occasion. I know there are a lot more that I'd love to get to know, but I know I wouldn't be able to keep up.
hopefully - yougot something figured out. I follow tons of blogs but only comment on halfish of them. and i don't follow everyone that follows me. i just don't have the time.
hopefully - yougot something figured out. I follow tons of blogs but only comment on halfish of them. and i don't follow everyone that follows me. i just don't have the time.
hopefully - yougot something figured out. I follow tons of blogs but only comment on halfish of them. and i don't follow everyone that follows me. i just don't have the time.
We've definitely talked about how blogging can be all-consuming. I try to catch up with everyone when I can but it's not easy. I enjoy reading comments and try to respond to each one.
I do follow a lot of people and have started to rethink that. Originally I thought that if I was one of many, many followers that my comment wasn't even going to be read but I have found differently. Maybe it has something to do with trying to say something real about the post rather than something trite. I don't comment on every post because sometimes I don't have anything to say.
And I agree with you about people who don't have a reply to address. Is it about privacy? It's easy enough to set up an email account just for that purpose. I really like to acknowledge comments and they made it hard to find them.
i gotta agree with Cherie!
there have been a few blogs that I commented on quite a few times...and really loved the content..and they NEVER ever comment back..it does hurt sometimes because I feel like I was saying "hello" to them and they just ignored me...but I try not to let it bother me..and it usually does not!
each person just has to find a happy medium! so they can enjoy Life AND Blogging!
great post!
ha! i wasn't going to comment but felt like i wanted to say a couple of things.
i agree that it's hard to keep up with it all and hard to know who you should read and who you can let go.
i wouldn't presume to tell you how to do it. i'll just tell you what i did. i had to prioritize my life when it became evident that i was spending too much time in blogland. i now limit my time which means that i had to limit the blogs i read.
i chose (and continue to choose) the ones that i really enjoy reading and/or the ones that i have formed deeper relationships with. and even then, i may not read them every day.
i found that if i visit a blog every couple or few days, i can keep up with everyone i want to read. i've given up trying to do it perfectly. i do what i can and when i can do it. i give myself grace and it makes it all (posting and commenting) more enjoyable.
i hope you find the balance you're looking for, even if my blog is one that you have to give up on. and if it is, i'll still check in here every couple of days because i enjoy reading what you write.
Well, I follow those blogs that interest me or that I feel I have something in common with or connect with. I used to comment on every single post and will sometimes do so when I have the time but sometimes it simply isn't possible. I only email back comments once in awhile and not every time b/c that takes up a lot of time there! If I have someone new come to my blog I will visit their blog and comment. If their blog interests me then I will follow if not then I don't. I don't follow everyone who follows me either. Really, what I try to do is just write for me and give the little updates of our family. I've gained a small network of blogging friends and we stay pretty connected and I'm happy with that little group.
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