MISSING HIM

My mom and dad back in the day....

We lost my mom at 56 years old in March 1982.

My dad would have turned 99 today. He passed away in April of 2020 at 96. He was a wonderful man. 

AN ANNIVERSARY AND A BIRTHDAY

Yesterday Mark and I celebrated our anniversary. We do not keep count since we were divorced, separated and remarried. The consistent thing is that it is June 24th! Sorry I couldn't resist this joke.....

I love him with all my heart....

On a totally different subject today my dad would have turned 98. Sometimes I still can't believe that he is gone. He had passed on April 2, 2020 shortly after the pandemic started. As you know I still don't have the closure I needed because we couldn't travel to Florida. 

This is the last time I saw my dad in person which was in June of 2019 when I spent a few weeks visiting with him. 

My sister and brother in law just moved into his place last week Thursday. They ended up buying it because they wanted to downsize. However moving from a lovely 4 bedroom home into a 1,000 sq ft home is something that seems impossible to me. They had all the rooms redone, new kitchen, appliances, flooring and bathrooms too. I can't wait to see it someday. 

I MISS YOU

It is hard for me to believe that it has been a year since my Dad passed away. I miss him everyday. 

WEDNESDAY HODGEPODGE #374

* SORRY, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX THIS *

Google changed me today and I don't do change!

Click here to play along.

1. This time last year where were you?

I was in Florida with my dad. Celebrated Father's Day with him and his birthday. I was there for 18 days. It's the first time in six years that I'm home to celebrate our anniversary. We are heading to Carlsbad, CA to see the ocean tomorrow. We will get take out from our favorite place in town. 

2. In honor of National Pink Day (June 23rd) tell us your favorite pink food or beverage. Was it on the menu at your house yesterday? Do you like to wear the color pink? If we came to visit would we find this color in your home decor? Blush-fuschia-salmon-raspberry-your favorite shade of pink?

Other than some pink salmon I can't come up with anything. No it was not on the menu yesterday. I don't mind wearing pink but I don't have much of it. You would find some pink in the dining room. I would have to say a blush pink would be my favorite shade of pink. 

3. Stop and smell the roses, looking through rose colored glasses, a rose by any other name, not all moonlight and roses, no rose without a thorn...which rosy saying currently fits your life in some way? Explain.

I'm trying very hard to "stop and smell the roses" but I'm feeling more like "not all moonlight and roses" these days. I'm getting more and more frustrated as time goes on. I can't stand what is happening in our world right now. I see no point to all of the destruction. It is literally breaking my heart. 

4. Are you a 'reader'? Do you tend to read lighter books in the summer months? Do you have a summer reading list? If so, give us a title or two.

No but I want to be. I always read on our vacations up north to Mammoth Lakes each summer. We did that for 18 years. 

With blogging, Facebook and TV I can't seem to work it into my day but I desperately want to. I've been wanting to for years and but what I should be doing is cleaning out closets for a future move so I talk myself out of it. 

Right now is a good time for me to push forward and read because I'm just a mess going on Facebook with all the shit that's going on and all the political stuff too! 

I actually have about 500 books in my Kindle app. Got most of them free and some for 99 cents. I really need to push myself. 

5. Share with us one rose and one thorn from your weekend.

James was the rose of our weekend. 

We celebrated Father's Day on Saturday evening.

                            Deep in thought....

                   He had food in his mouth!

6. Insert your own random here. 

                           Engagement photo August '71

                           June 24, 1972

Since some of you don't know this. We were divorced

and separated for six years. Remarried June 24, 1989.

Tomorrow my dad would have turned 97! 

Happy Birthday Dad, love you and miss you. xoxo

HOME

My dad is home! 

My dad is angry! 

My dad is depressed! 

My stomach has been in such a tight knot. Just as started to type those words the tears started flowing from my eyes. 

My dad was released from rehab on Friday. My sister and brother in law worked out details to help him for the first month just to get a feel on how he is doing. He wants to be alone....he can't be alone! 

My brother in law is spending the weekends with him and evenings during the week. My sister will spend two days with him and they also hired some 24 hour care for the times they will not be there with him. 

He is mad at us, he is saying that we have deserted him. He doesn't want to pay for the 24 hour care. If he can't be alone he wants us to take care of him. My sister said that he is just sitting in his wheelchair with his arms folded with a scowl on his face. Truthfully, he expects me to leave California and live with him. 

He wanted to go home, would not accept any other choice, so they took him home so he could be his house but now that is not good enough. However he is now seeing that he really can't do anything on his own. So even though he was excited to be going home he is now even more disappointed in himself. He really can't walk much at all and he can't even use a walker. 

So yesterday they took him to look at an assisted living facility where he has friends that he knows who are living there. They had lived in his community and since moved there because they realized they didn't want to be alone anymore, didn't want to have to cook, etc. Of course his friends are in a different building because they don't need as much care as he does. 

It actually sounds lovely. He can get a room that has a bedroom and a sitting room. You also bring your own furniture so you can make it look like home. He doesn't want to sell his house and his dream was always to pass away in his bed at home. 

I understand his frustrations, I get the fact that he is angry. I just wish for a minute that he could appreciate the fact that he will turn 94 in June and that he has been blessed beyond measure. Here I sit at 65 years old and have restrictions that he has never had......

PRAYERS NEEDED

PRAYERS NEEDED: My dad had a major setback today. He was in the kitchen and fell hard on the floor on his same hip. His hip appears to be okay in the x-ray. 

I saw it all in slow motion, I was right there but couldn't catch him. Fell hard on his head and blood pooled around his face. I called 911 immediately. 

They believe he had a heart attack. He is alert and knows everything and can answer each question they have asked him. That is a good thing. He is heading over to a Tampa hospital where they need to monitor his brain because the CT Scan shows some mild bleeding inside. 

My heart aches for him. He had to have 7 stitches. He is very upset with himself because he was doing so good with all of him physical therapy. He did nothing wrong and I am glad I was here to get him the ambulance. 

Medical Alert was set up for tomorrow to be installed but in all honesty after he fell today I could see that there is no way he could have pushed a button. God has me here for a reason and I am thankful for that. 

UPDATE ON MY DAD

Look at him eating a McDonald's burger! 

He has had some very hard days. He has been frustrated in himself and all he wants to do is go home. The photo is from a recent outing to see the surgeon who operated on him. My brother in law decided to stop and treat him to a burger. 

He has been retaining a lot of water and has been very congested for about a week. The medications were not helping. The problem is that they had been getting him out of bed early each morning and putting him in the wheelchair, however he often sat in that chair all day long. 

So recently it was suggested by my niece that he lay in his bed after his meals with his legs elevated to help relieve the swelling. That worked like a charm. I know myself that if I sit at a machine in a casino for hours on end my ankle will swell. 

So now his ankles are back to normal and his chest congestion is going away. He does have Congenital Heart Failure and his kidneys are slowing down. However, he is actually being released to go home on Thursday. 

He is ecstatic! 

All of the details haven't been worked out yet and I'm not sure what he can and can't do on his own at this time or if he will actually be able to live alone. Right now the important thing was to get him back home which is going to make him very, very happy. 

I do plan of flying to Florida to spend about two weeks with him in the near future so I can help out. Also a big thank you to my sister Darcy and brother in law Bob for spending time with him everyday in the rehab center. 

WEDNESDAY HODGEPODGE

Volume 294

Thank you Joyce....

1. "The cure for anything is salt water-tears, sweat, or the sea." (Isak Dinesan) Would you agree? Of the three, which has 'cured' you most recently? 

The more I read that quote the more I tend to agree with it but I'm not sure which has cured me recently. 

2. What's something you can't eat without salt? Do you normally salt your food a lot, a little, or not at all? 

I am not a salter, I've never have been one and now with the A-Fib I'm on a low salt diet. My husband on the other hand will put salt on salted peanuts! 

3. Sands of time, bury your head in the sand, built on sand, or draw a line in the sand...which sandy phrase could best be applied to something in your life right now? 

I have a lot going on right now. Maybe I would like to bury my head in the sand to forget some things but I can't right now. Will explain some things in my random. 

4. A favorite book, movie, or song with an island setting or theme? 

Well the very first thing that popped into my mind was "Cast  Away" with Tom Hanks so I will go with that one. 

5. Yesterday-did you run your day or did it run you? How so? 

It ran me. I'll explain in my random. 

6. You're on an island holiday. Will I most likely find you parked in a beach chair, shopping in town, on the back of a jet ski, or snorkeling off the back of a catamaran? 

I think you will find me in a beach chair however I might prefer being at the pool and just walking on the beach. 

7. What do you think we humans most take for granted?

Probably our health. 

8. Insert your own random thought here.

So as you know Amber moved away after Thanksgiving. All is well with her and Dylan. 

We just celebrated Adam's 38th birthday. I will tell you more later but he has gotten a fabulous job and he will be moving out soon.  This empty nest thing is harder now then when they left the first time! 

Thursday my dad didn't call. I tried calling him to remind him about the inauguration but no answer. Then a few hours later my sister called me to see if I had talked with him because he calls me every morning. 

So after work she went to his house and he was found on the floor. He was alive and an ambulance was called. He broke his hip. 

Because of his active life they decided to operate and he made it through surgery . I will write a post as soon as I can about all of this. He is not out of the woods yet. Prayers are definitely welcomed. 

On Sunday I flew to Florida so I could see my dad. So life is very busy right now and my trees are still up!!! 

WEDNESDAY HODGEPODGE + BIRTHDAY

Thank you Joyce.
Have you joined in yet?

1. What summer activity most takes you back to your own childhood?
Probably going to the beach. My grandparents on my dad's side had a summer home in Union Pier, MI and we would go to the beach often. I remember the sound of the sand under our feet on the smooth wood of the deck of the snack stand when we would go to buy a drumstick ice cream. 

2. What's your favorite summer smell?
Usually it is the smell of grass however we have that every Thursday in California, so I'm going to say when the Jasmine are in bloom! 

3. It's beach season in the US of A...so how do you feel about sand?
I actually like it although I didn't always like it. It seemed like such a mess taking the kids to the beach when they were little but I like it now! 

4. Sun tea, SunChips, sunflower seeds, Capri Sun, Sunny Delight, Sun-Maid raisins, sun-dried tomatoes...your favorite food or beverage with sun in its name?
How about an ice cream Sunday?  Of course I don't eat those anymore but I do enjoy sunflower seeds. 

5. What's your favorite way to cool off on a hot summer day?
Definitely in a swimming pool, however most of the time it is just sitting in an air conditioned house. Although I have to admit that if we are outside a nice cold beer is an awesome way to cool off!

6. Share a favorite song with the word sun or sunshine in it's title.
OMG, I pulled up the top 100 songs with sun or sunshine in the title and I could list so many! Actually I am going to list the first one from the list "Ain’t No Sunshine – Bill Withers (1971) " because I've been watching Notting Hill a lot lately with Julie Roberts and Hugh Grand...... they play that song in .

7. Tell us about a time you had an exceedingly good or truly awful customer service experience. If it was awful, did you report it? Ever go back there again? 
I'm sure there have been several over the years but most recently is our issue with AT&T and our internet. We have talked to 5 people over the last 2 weeks who say they will have our service up that day and it is still out! 

The last I heard from Mark is that we are cancelling our AT&T phone/internet and doing a bundle with our Time Warner cable. Kinda sucks since AT&T was going to give us $500. to go with a bundle from them. We have never had an issue with them before this. 

8. Insert your own random thought here.

Happy 91st Birthday to my Dad!

~Ray~

(This photo is from last year)

We are going out to eat with my dad tonight to celebrate his birthday. I am so blessed to still have him around. 

PLAN - verb: decide on and arrange in advance.

Do you remember Joyce's question from Wednesday Hodgepodge: "Do you carefully plan your vacations, or do you prefer the days to be more spontaneous?", well here is what I have to say about that! 

Back in August of last year my niece texted me with the date of my great nieces High School graduation this year. What I found a few weeks later is that my sweeps in Las Vegas for bowling were the same weekend as her graduation. 

Well I haven't missed bowling in Vegas for over 20+ years with my bowling league however I felt it was important for me to be in Florida since two of my great nieces were graduating from H.S. So I told myself I would just have to miss it this year and made peace with it. 

So I figured I would go to Florida at the end of May, be there for their graduations parties and then spend time with my dad.  Keep in mind that when I was there in December neither of the girls wanted parties, they wanted to hang with their friends. They both go to different schools so their graduations are on different days. 

So back in January I wrote to both of my nieces asking them if there were any plans being made. If the girls wanted to party with their friends I get that, I was young once, but let me know if there is going to be a family party. If the family party was going to be later then maybe I could go to Vegas then take off for Florida. Well I didn't hear anything back so I decided to just make my own plans.

However in the meantime something else came up. Mark was going to Orlando around the 16th of June and I could join him at the Gaylord Palms. So I decided to write to my nieces again and tell them that I was coming there at the end of May, not going to Vegas and if they have a party while I am there great, if not it didn't matter because I was coming to spend time with my dad. Then after that I would be going to Orlando with Mark and spending a week there before I came home. 

I had to have my plans made, I couldn't be spontaneous about this and I couldn't keep waiting for an answer. So we were working on dates but hadn't made any reservations yet when Adam informed us that Tristen's graduation is on June 14th. (Son's best girl and our daughter in law in our hearts) She is receiving her doctorate and we are not missing that....this is a big deal! (and she has landed an amazing job already, more on that later) So on to another plan.....

So now I will be in town for Tristen's graduation on Saturday and leaving the next day for Florida, going to Orlando with Mark and then heading down to my dad's at the end of the week. So now I have to decide if I should go to Vegas and bowl since I will still be in town. I have one more thing to share and this is where God comes in. (sorry it's so long) 

When my dad turned 89 and spent his birthday alone I made myself a promise that he would never be alone on his birthday, I would be there with him. Of course last year on his 90th we had his party so I was there. 

Because of the girls graduations and then the Orlando trip I didn't see how it would be possible for me to be there. I would already be gone for three weeks. I would be there for Father's Day and I thought I would make a point of making sure he was taken care of by someone for his birthday. 

But I was breaking my promise and that bothered me. I had just said to Mark that I had promised myself and I was already breaking it. One of the problems is that we go to Mammoth Lakes just 10 days past his birthday which is a bit of a rush for me. 

Since Tristen's graduation has come up and with my change of plans I will now be there for his birthday. God always seems to have a way to work things out even when we weren't planning on it! My time with my dad will be shorter but that's okay, I will just have to visit again later in the year. Hopefully these plans will remain unchanged and Mark is booking our flights as you read this!

THE PARTY AND REUNION TO CELEBRATE MY FATHER

Party Time!

My father was born on June 25, 1923. He and my mother had three children. My brother Raymond, my sister Darcy and me. My sister Darcy married Bob and gave birth to Michele and Melissa. I married Mark and gave birth to Adam and Amber. My Amber married Dylan and Adam has been with Tristen for many years now sharing a life together. Michele was married and had three children, Amanda, Ashylnn and Garrett. Melissa was married and had Amber. She is currently married to Joe. My brother Raymond lives in Milwaukee where he is active in the Theater. 

(He was unable to attend)

The Birthday dinner at Kally K's:

(Click to enlarge photos)

Michele and her children.

Amanda, Ashlynn and Garrett

Dylan, Amber, Adam and Tristen

 Darcy and Bob

 Mark and Debby

 Mark, Debby, Adam and Amber

 Garrett with great-grandpa

 Garrett, GG, Ashlynn and Amanda

 Joe, Amber, Melissa and Grandpa

 Adam, Amber, Melissa, Michele with Grandpa

 Something is funny.....

 Bob, Darcy, Mark, Debby and Dad

The gathering of family.

 He had a lot of wishes during the week!!!

The Party after dinner at my sister's house:

 The birthday poster!

 Let them eat cake....okay I will!

(Chocolate/whipped cream cake)

 Loving his cake....

 Another wish.....

 Melissa, Michele, Adam, Amber and Grandpa.

 The greats...Amanda, Ashlynn, Amber, Garrett and GG.

 Darcy, Debby and Dad.

 Bob, Darcy, Mark, Debby and Dad.

 Take one....

 What's so funny? Take two....

 The grandchildren. Melissa with her husband Joe.

Dylan, Amber and Grandpa.

Adam, Tristen and Michele. 

Take 3....perfect!

 GG with Garrett.

 Dylan, Amanda, Ashlynn and Amber.

 Garrett, Ashlynn, Amber, Amanda and GG.

(GG = Great Grandpa)

 My brother in law Bob, sister Darcy and

Mark & I with my Dad. 

 The Family

 And my Mom sent a rainbow! 

Lot's of cards were played while we were there!

June 25, 2013

My dad with his cards!

 Thank you to everyone who sent him a card.

He felt so blessed to received them.

(Pam he also got your hug!)

 We took my Dad out to lunch on his birthday.

 My Reuben sandwich...this deli is the best! 

 Cheesecake wishes at The Lucky Dill!

 Had a Coconut Cake for him that night!

 Make a wish......

 A Few Extras:

 We got to have lunch at Five Guys before my

great niece Amanda took off for a trip to Denver! 

Garrett and Amber

 Michele, Grandpa and Melissa

Michele, Dad, Darcy and Ashlynn

 Amber and Ashlynn

 Tristen, Adam and Uncle Bob

Had this a few times too.....

 I enjoyed the pool several times. 

This was a fun trip. We went to the Hard Rock Casino in Tampa a few times. Spent lots of time with the family. I shopped with my sister one day and I also shopped with the kids one day. They all came over to my dad's often. We had so many laughs and lots of great things to eat. I did eat some of my favorites. I put on 4 pounds but I already got it off so that wasn't too bad at all. I couldn't pass up eating his cakes! My father is a wonderful man and I'm so glad that we were able to celebrate his 90 years. 

I'm going to make him a birthday book with all these awesome photos.

Just love the Florida clouds

but I can do without the lightning! 

We saw a lot while we were there....

I also shared other photos in my last post on
Saturday the 6th in case you missed it!