GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH

There is so much family drama going on in my life right now that I haven't been posting anything except Wednesday Hodgepodge. I'm hurting.....

Not to mention all the medical things that have been taking up my time. I seem to have at least one doctor's appointment each week and I am now in physical therapy twice a week for my knee. 

Hopefully I will be able to have the surgery needed. The pain is wearing me down. I need two other doctor's permission before the orthopedic surgeon will even consider it. (Cardiologist and Pulmonary)

Even more important is the fact that for the first time ever I didn't even write a post yesterday about our daughter Amber's 36th birthday. (I did post on Facebook)

 Happy Birthday Amber.....

Love you to the moon and back! 

I hope everyone has a beautiful weekend! 

WHEN HISTORY IS MADE

History was made on November 8, 2016 when Donald J. Trump won the election to become our next President. I hope your understand that I am not here to gloat. I just want to have a post for the future generations in my family to read.  

Yes I voted for Donald  J. Trump but what I realized as the election got closer was that I had to put my heart's desire into God's hands. I got down on my knees about a week before the election and I prayed daily for God to make this decision for us.    

"It is God who alters the times and seasons, and he removes kings and promotes kings. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning."  Daniel 2:21 ISV

This is not the outcome I saw coming nor did the news media. However it is the outcome I had prayed for. 

I have never in my life been more involved with the election of a President of the United States. One thing I do know is that the America I grew up in had changed and I miss it.......

AN UNFOURSEEN PART TWO

If you follow me on Facebook you already know this and I appreciate all the heartfelt messages and prayers......(This will be long so don't feel obligated to read it) 

I didn't know my post "The Moment" from Friday was going to have a part two!  I worked on that post a few different days last week and had it scheduled to post on Friday morning. 

Little did I know that something was going to happen to me during the night on Thursday, or more precisely at 1 am Friday morning. 

I had another awakening only this time it was personal. It was as though I was pushed up into a sitting position in bed, beyond my control. I had a pressure in my chest that I have never felt before in my life. 

I have told my cardiologist who I was assigned last summer because of the Acute Pericarditis I had that I don't know heart pain. I know lung pain because of my 40 years of experience with it. I believe that what I was feeling was heart but it wasn't a pain but extreme pressure. 

I immediately went into my side table drawer and reached in for the tiny little bottle of nitroglycerin pills that they gave me last summer. I walked into my office off the bedroom, sat down, took a pill and waited. All I could think about doing was praying to God "Please don't take me now, I'm not ready" so that's what I did!

My mind was going a million miles a minute wondering what I should do. Should I tell Mark??? Should I go to the ER???  Am I having a heart attack??? This wasn't a feeling I've ever felt with my lungs before. 

The last thing I want to do is go to the ER and be sent home because I have indigestion or heartburn! Of course that statement is silly because I never ever have heartburn or indigestion although I did take a tums that night! 

I took another pill and was feeling some relief. I didn't dare go back to sleep in fear of dying. It was like 4 1/2 hours before Mark got up when I told him what happened. He said you want to go to the ER and I told him all the things I just told you. 

I made a decision to call my cardiologist as soon as I could and go see him. I was out of the house by 9 am. The EKG they took was not good. (Reminded me of an EKG that landed me in a cardiologists office 10 years ago when I was first put on High Blood Pressure medication) So he told me to go to the ER, I'm like "your kidding me right" and he said "no, tell them that I sent you."  I was lucky this time and should have gone right away in the middle of the night......

Thankfully the ER moved very quickly because waiting is never fun in the ER. They admitted me to the hospital. From what I was told the ER ended up being one of their worst days in a long time and they couldn't even get beds for people. I was glad to be processed fast. Was in a hospital room by 1:00 pm. 

Bottom line here is that the plan of action was to do a drug induced stress test on Saturday. If it showed something we would follow with a angioplasty on Sunday. Had to fast with not even water after midnight and the test wasn't even started until noon. 

Boy was I hungry. They also wouldn't give me my medications so my lungs started getting very tight. Finally they called the doctor and they gave me my morning medications and a jello around 11 am, along with some oxygen. 

So the test came back around 6 pm and the heart looks great which was great news. My mother died of a massive heart attack at 56 and her father also died of one. What we know and what plans the doctor's often take follow family history right? I think I now have my own history because no one else has my lung issues. I'll explain why. (I know too long already.......)

The admitting hospital doctor had come up to meet me on Saturday morning and was a very nice man. We talked about what had happened to me. I told him about the pressure, we talked about how long it lasted and a few other details. He said on Saturday I don't believe this is your heart, I think it is pulmonary. Smart man! 

So they are releasing me and I'm thinking "okay it's not heart but pulmonary so why not bring in a specialist for that while I'm here" but it doesn't work that way. Blah, blah, blah......so I will continue with my referral for the Pulmonary Specialist which my regular doctor is working on. 

The HMO wants a recent chest x-ray which I just received the paperwork to go for but I am going to call tomorrow to see if they can use the hospital one which our doctor has access to rather than go again. Just had it on Friday. Also all blood work tests were good, nothing out of the ordinary.

In the mean time I have done some extensive research which is a good thing. I need answers, I'm tired of not having the answers. I know my health, I know my lungs and I know what I feel. Twenty years ago I was in a doctors office for a checkup after treatment for a lung infection. So the doctor listens to my lungs, said everything sounds good and I burst out crying "BUT I CAN'T BREATH." That is when I got my first nebulizer machine. 

Right now I believe I have something that should have been diagnosed many, many years ago. When I had the drug induced stress test 10 years ago they couldn't find anything but put me on blood pressure medicine and everything since then has been considered heart related, asthma or COPD. 

There is something that is called Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension which involves the blood vessels of the lungs and not the blood vessels of the heart. I'm not saying that some of the medications used for high blood pressure are not exactly the same used for this. My lungs have always been tight and unresponsive to most medications until I got the Spiriva almost 3 years ago. 

Also my blood pressure which was controlled is not under control right now. It is into the 150's yet they didn't give me anything additional to bring it down! 

What has happened this time is that when I went to my doctor on August 29th my lungs were tight. After heavy doses of steroids they are not opening up this time at all. I was almost thinking I had Angina the other day. It is quite possible I've been misdiagnosed for a very long time. This is just speculation at this time......

That is why the nitroglycerin worked, it opens up the veins for blood to flow better. They used nitroglycerin patches in the hospital and I have been given a time released form to take at bedtime until we are able to get this all sorted out. I will keep you posted. 

Remember the scene from "On Golden Pond" at the end of the movie on the porch when he drops the dishes and you think he is going to die. That is when he took his nitroglycerin pill!

So what did you do this weekend???

(P.S.) If something is unclear or if I made mistakes let me know at dpucci9972@gmail.com . I re read this several times but maybe you will see something I missed.

THE MOMENT

You know the moment when you can't catch your breath, you can't speak, you can't move, you are in shock and the tears start running down your face?

That recently happened and it immediately changed me!

I felt a distressing awakening..........

Distressing: causing anxiety, sorrow or pain; upsetting.

Awakening: an act or moment of becoming suddenly aware of something.

We have a 45 year class reunion in a few weeks. (I still can't believe that number!) We will be flying to Chicago to attend. I've been living in my own little pity party for a long time now.

But I have also been determined to go because I have a few friends that I want to see. I loved High School. I was a terrible student but it wasn't a bad experience for me at all!

Also the fact that we don't know what tomorrow will bring kept me bugging Mark about it for months now. He doesn't want to go. His thoughts are "Who wants to see a bunch of old people."

Going to the reunion is not easy for me. I was the size "0" girl all through High School and I've been dwelling on the fact that it's not fair that people don't know your story.

I've been struggling with my weight for 19 years now after I had been hospitalized for 8 days because they couldn't get my lungs to work right. I spent 18 years on a low dose of oral steroids which I recently shared with you and exercise with COPD is not an easy task. So I eat healthy and do the best job I can do for myself.

I didn't want to go and be judged that way because I am still me, the person I was 45 years ago! By the way, Mark and I were in the same class.  Here is a photo from what looks to be maybe our 10th Class Reunion. There we are third and fourth from the right.......

We received an email update about the weekend and a link to a board with all kinds of facts that we can look up about who is coming, what other things will be going on that weekend that we can go to if we want and then there was the one "IN MEMORY" which hit me like a ton of bricks.

We have lost 39 members from our class of 1969 at Riverside-Brookfield High School in Brookfield, IL. Many of them I knew. I was a fairly popular girl even though I was extremely shy and had no self esteem at all. I ran with the cool kids, many of them Cheerleaders and Jocks but also got along with the groups that were not so popular like the Greasers....that takes you back doesn't it?

Mark and I dated sophmore year for about 3 months and then we didn't go out again until after graduation night. I know that senior year there was a lot of flirting going on between us and we hung with the same crowd most of the time. My prom date and his prom date have both passed away....that just blows my mind!

So when I saw the list the tears just started flowing down my face for those who are gone and I realized just how blessed I am to be alive today. I am going to live each day to the fullest and thank God for blessing me with my life. I will not lay low and hide because life is precious........

Ecclesiastes 9: 7-9 (The Message) 

Seize life! Eat bread with gusto,

Drink wine with a robust heart.

Oh yes—God takes pleasure in your pleasure!

Dress festively every morning.

Don’t skimp on colors and scarves.

Relish life with the spouse you love

Each and every day of your precarious life.

Each day is God’s gift. It’s all you get in exchange

For the hard work of staying alive.

Make the most of each one!

I do throwback Thursday on Facebook each week and this is the pictures I posted yesterday. It is from August 1971 and we are obviously celebrating our engagement. We got married June 24, 1972.

 Here we are last September.
You can't go back you can only move forward!

There is now a part two to this post....

SOME DAYS YOU JUST WANT TO CRAWL BACK INTO BED

If you follow me on Facebook you would have seen my post about CHANGE. I was complaining about Time Warner changing the lineup of their channels starting next week which means that all of my favorites in my DVR need to be changed. Problem with that is that the Fall season can't be fixed until they premiere again :( 

The best point of a DVR is that you don't need to know when they premiere because the DVR just knows! So I was pretty upset about this and I let out some steam.

Well today something else happened and I was fuming. Was on my computer and then the internet went out. I couldn't get it back up. So I called AT&T to see if there was some outage in our area. I was informed that the problem was something else and my blood began to boil. I talked to the woman for a little while but ended up telling the woman that I can't talk right now and hung up on her.

First I called Mark to complained to him, then I calmed down and called them back. Apparently there was an email along with a letter sent out about our areas internet changing. I told her we never received anything. If you didn't respond by a certain date your service would be turned off. Well that's what happened this morning.

{{{I DO NOT LIKE CHANGE}}}

If they did send something it would have been up to Mark to have read it. I don't open his mail and he says he saw nothing. I told them that we get so much junk mail from them about going with a bundle that maybe it would have been nice to have the envelope say something like:

MAJOR CHANGES TO YOUR SERVICE

So they have to come out to change the modem in the house. Of course the next available appointment is Wednesday....six days from now! I am currently sitting at Starbucks. 

God knows I have been up for 2 nights now deciding what I wanted to do this year when I go to Florida and stay with my dad. I thought I wouldn't get a USB port this year and just head over to Starbucks every few days. I can do many things from my phone but I don't care to write a post on it. I'm guessing maybe God wanted me to try it out for a few days. 

So I have calmed down which is pretty normal when change happens. You get super pissed, yell at everyone around you and then settle into the change. With each upset I try to look for the Silver Lining. With the newer high speed internet our monthly fee is going down $20. which is a good thing and we are also getting a $100. gift card. I'm going to make sure I grab that when it comes in the mail even if is addressed to Mark!

Hope everyone has a nice weekend and hope to be back soon......

IT'S A SNOW DAY AT WEDNESDAY HODGEPODGE

Our Wednesday Hodgepodge host Joyce wanted a much needed snow day so we will resume our regularly scheduled program next week. 

How will you spend your Snow Day? I will be spending mine making snow angels in an 88 degrees pool of melted snow with some fake owls and a swan who keep the ducks away :) This evening I will be going out to dinner with my dad and a couple who he has known since his high school days. They are celebrating their 68th wedding anniversary. 

Speaking of anniversaries Mark and I will be celebrating ours on Monday the 24th. I have a post coming up on Sunday with some pictures from our weddings. Today I want to share something with you that happened at the pool this past Sunday. 

As time goes by we often take things for granted. Also as time goes on we can sometimes let little things get on our nerves, especially when it comes to our husbands and aging. Right....anyone agree with me? 

When I was at the pool two woman came there to relax. They got in the water and were sitting across the pool from me on a bench area where you can have spa jets on if you want. I had no intentions of listening to their conversation but it couldn't be avoided. I could hear what they were saying. I heard them say that it was a God thing how they met at a store while dropping off some film. I also know that there was "someone" who wanted me to hear their conversation.

They started to share stories about their deceased husbands. These woman were both around my age and that was a wake up call for me. I sat there listening to them reminisce about the things they miss and I was thinking just how lucky I was to have Mark. How unbelievable dumb it is to harp on him for the things that get under my skin when I should be doing nothing more than loving each moment he is in my life. 

I will try my hardest to remember these two woman when my blood begins to boil!

THE UGLY TRUTH

I have written this post a few times and then deleted it. I am going to make it short and to the point. Sometimes things happen in your life that can give you just the spark you need. I have prayed to God to help me get motivated. Help me to find a love for my home that had gone away. As you know, things don't always arrive in the exact way we have prayed for them. 

Our daughter and son in law have lived here for 3 years now. We had them pay a very small rent to keep them accountable. That faded away after the first year for some reason. So recently we have asked them to help out more around the house. That went over like a lead balloon. I was called lazy, I was told that it's not their house and they shouldn't have to help. I was told they were to busy with work and school. (these words came from our daughter) I also had some choice words to share with her! 

I had three simple requests: 

1. Wash the tile floors once a month with the Hoover Hard Floor Cleaner machine.
2. Dust the wooden blinds in the house twice a year.
3. Wash the windows outside 3 times a year. 

I got super angry and was in total shock by what I heard that I decided that I don't want them cleaning anything in my house. No one will ever call me lazy again! Boy did I get a big dose of motivation. Don't like the way it happened but never the less I am on a roll....

1. Washed the floors with the machine in two days. 
2. Have completed washing 13 windows and two sliding doors outside.
3. Have also completed cleaning 11 wooden blinds. (Have 3 more to do)
4. Have also gone through some clothes and got two large bags full to giveaway! 

I am very pleased with myself. The house is feeling very clean and now I can't wait to get going on the other projects that I need to do. (of course cleaning out the closet is not high on my list or all the paperwork packed into drawers) Next is cleaning all the cabinet doors in the kitchen, bathroom and laundry room. Also I have been able to work out my time between blogging and cleaning. Of course things will be put on hold as I do some traveling this summer but I am on my way to being totally organized.....hooray! 

I will not be cleaning the blinds or windows in their section of our home. It was a rough few weeks around here lately with everyone being in ugly moods but I'm happy to say that things are good between my daughter and me. We do love each other unconditionally, however I have changed my ways and can no longer be the person who swoops in to save the day! I am learning how to not be the helicopter mom which certainly contributed to the attitude issues. Also they will have to start paying rent again but that hasn't been discussed yet since we all need some more time to cool off. 

Sometimes as parents we get over protective and want to keep our children from pain. I've never been good at punishing. I thought I would give you an example of that mom who always saves the day. There were times when our daughter would be sent to her room for the night. I was the one who hurt and felt bad that she would miss her favorite shows, so what did I do? Well I taped them on the VCR so she could watch them later!

Insert helicopter starting up ......

I HAVE A VOICE

 

 

I try to be quiet on my blog about Religion and Politics because I have never felt that this is the place to voice my opinion. I do mention God often but I don't preach about Him. What I have been finding today is that many of my close friends here have voiced their feelings over the election that took place yesterday and I admire their boldness to speak from their heart.

 

Truth be told....I am broken. Broken in a way I have only felt once before in my life and that is when my husband left me. Broken is hard to overcome. I come from a family who voted for Republicans when I was growing up. That's not to say I only vote that way.

 

First and foremost I know very little about politics and religion. I love God, he is my Heavenly father and He loves me unconditionally. Can I quote the Bible, no! When it comes to politics you could probably show me a picture of a donkey and an elephant but I couldn't tell you who is who! If I was in a room of people and the question to the audience was "Have you ever voted for a president because of their looks?" I could raise my hand to that one.

 

If you come here often you know I am pretty open and honest. Not very much you don't know about me. Have I voted for a Democrat in the past? Yes I have and I actually voted for Obama in 2008. My husband convinced me that he was the best choice.

 

If you know me well you know that the color of a persons skin does not mean a thing to me. My parents raised me to love all people equally. Now that's not to say I don't get angry when English is not the spoken language in our country. My ancestors come over from Europe and only spoke Bohemian. They had to learn to write and to speak English so why has that changed? No one printed up papers in Bohemian for them to read in order to become American citizens! See, I do have voice.

 

I embraced Obama being President and was ready for change. Yes I know he was handed a plate filled of crap when he took office but that plate never got empty, it only got heavier. So this election for was about change and giving someone else a try. I didn't want to give him 4 more years.

 

Just look at the areas that Romney won. You can't tell me that people were not ready for a change. Like I said I know nothing about politics, it all goes over my head most of the time but why, when so many in California voted for Romney do all of our electoral votes only go in one direction. What was the point of my vote in this state?

 

 

 

I love the USA, I want it back!

 

 

 

I may not be as educated as some are when it comes to politics but I am entitled to my view. I know that we all have our opinions, this is just mine. I also respect your opinion and am not saying anything to start an argument, I just want future generations in my family to know who I am.

 



P.S. I am aware that Obama won the popular vote and that makes my stomach hurt!

IT ALL STARTED WITH AN EMAIL

I can't say that for sure but I certainly

think it had something to do with it!

(Okay, bear with me here, this is kind of a funny set of circumstances that played out. I know it's long and I'm sorry about that but I think you will enjoy it.)



I can't remember when I started emailing but I am thinking it was about 16 years ago. Over the years I have received hundreds of the emails that are about praying and if you pass it on you will be blessed by God. I know that for many, many years now I never do those emails. I know that my relationship with God is not going to change because of some email I send out to 10 people. However, I was having a very bad day, actually two bad days, Saturday and Sunday with major arguments with my hubby.  So when I saw the email yesterday afternoon I thought "What can it hurt, I need all the help I can get." (I was desperately in need of someone I love to surprise me.)



Here is the email:

With God all things are possible    Matthew 19:26

Twenty angels are in your world. Ten of them are sleeping, nine are playing, one is reading this message. Please read.... not joking.....God has seen you struggling with something. God says it's over. A blessing is coming your way. If you believe in God, send this message on, please don't ignore it, you are being tested. God is going to fix two BIG things tonight in your favor. If you believe in God, drop everything and pass it on. Tomorrow will be the best day ever. Send this to ten friends, including me, if I don't get it back, I guess I'm not one of them. As soon as you get five replies, someone you love will quietly surprise you.



Well guess what happened.....non of the above! Starting yesterday afternoon around 4:30 our cable went out. Then when I finally decided to call them they said that they would have someone out on Tuesday. The problem was not on their end it was on ours. Okay this was Sunday and I am like "are you kidding me, you expect me to be without cable until Tuesday!" (one of the reasons we don't have a total package where everything is together is because when cable goes out I still want to have my Internet, which I did)

Of course that was until this morning! So I turn on my phone this morning and I can't get to Facebook. It said I was connected to the house Internet but I couldn't get on. So then I switched over to a 3G connection and I was able to get on Facebook. So the next step was to turn on my computer. It said I was connected but only a local connection which did not bring up a Internet connection. Let's just say I got a little angry :) So I call AT&T and talked with the computer for awhile. They did say that due to outages there would be a long wait and they are doing all they can to take care of issues. Then it took me back to the computer voice and we went through the same stuff again so I gave up!

Then I called cable to give them my cell phone number since our phone was also out. Cable was supposed to call between 8 and 9 to see if we could get an earlier appointment. I wanted to start my morning out by checking out the pool so I could continue to exercise like I did at my Dads but it didn't look like that was going to happen. Also I was a bit angry about the Tuesday cable appointment because it was going to be right in the middle of my day out for $5. Tuesday's at the show.

So I was thinking I could go to Starbucks but then I remembered that I still had my Hot Spot for my phone which I used in Florida. I remember her telling me that she would have it turned off when our billing cycle ended. Guess what? New billing cycle started today so no more Hot Spot for me! I just couldn't win.

So I decided to start the laundry. I didn't do it over the weekend because I wasn't in the right frame of mind and I assumed Mark would be going out town since that was the plan before I went to Florida. Also, since I was on strike I wasn't about to have things fresh and ready for him to pack. I was going to win this one. Turns out he wasn't going out of town as planned so he could care less about the laundry. You just have to laugh at this one don't you?

Anyway I head into the laundry room and notice that the night light was out. I thought it was probably the bulb but decided to try another from the hallway. It also didn't light. I thought that one of the reset buttons needed to be set. So I went out into the garage and did the one that gave us issues once before. That was my light bulb moment! I heard the beeps outside and I went to check the phone. That was it, the phone was on and so was Internet. And guess what else, cable was back on. Well hubby had used that outlet yesterday with some outside trimmers and something must of happen. I do know that the phone has a backup battery outside in the maintenance box so that's why we still had service on that yesterday.

What a crazy set of circumstances today. It wasn't enough that I had a post Sunday about my frustrations! Then this happened but thankfully it turned out to be okay in the long run. I was trying really hard to be thankful in all circumstances this morning. I think that maybe that email I got was intercepted by Satan and I won't be doing one of those again!

WEDNESDAY HODGEPODGE

1. Did March come in like a lion or was it something less ferocious in your neck of the woods?
I think it was less ferocious.

2. Speaking of lions, which one's your film favorite...The Cowardly Lion (Wizard of Oz), Mufasa (The Lion King), Elsa (Born Free), or Alex (Madagascar)? You may notice I left Aslan off the list. Including him would have made this question way too easy for many of you.
Definitely the Cowardly Lion. I didn't even know who Aslan was but I looked it up and I love the Narnia movies. I didn't know that was him name.

3. What's your favorite spot from which to view the sunrise or sunset?
Our backyard, cabin in Mammoth Lakes or at the beach!


4. To what extent is knowledge power and to what extent is truth power? What's the difference?
You lost me with this one. I don't have the brain power today to answer this. I spent 2 1/2 hours of waiting on two different airline calls and then talked with two different people for about 1 hour total and accomplished nothing. I can tell you that they didn't have any knowledge! Looking forward to seeing what everyone says.

5. What's something peculiar you've seen recently?
It's not peculiar but I always think it is funny when I see people walking backwards on their walks.

6. Bottled water...your thoughts?
We do have bottled water at home but I use it only on the run. We have filtered water with the refrigerator so I don't drink bottle water in the house. I always recycle the bottles. The ones I take with me I bring home again, like if I put one in my purse for the show.

7. What's your strongest sense?
I think that maybe smell is my strongest sense but I see well, taste well, hear well and touch well. (No sure how you meant this)

8. Insert your own random thought here.
I found out something very interesting about myself last Thursday. If I lived in a cabin in the back woods without power, I would have a very clean house and meals on the table every night. We had extremely high Santa Ana winds on Thursday and our power went out for 4 1/2 hours. No internet, no TV and basically no nothing! I cleaned out my bathroom cabinets and drawers. You can now see the counter top and it has nothing on it except for a few decorations, hand soap and my hand towel.

I think that is what life was like for me before I started to blog. I actually took more pride in my house and I miss that. I have to find a balance one of these days. Finding balance means not reading every post that my friends write. Feels like I would be letting everyone down. It hit home for me the other day when my dear friend Kristin @The Goat said this to me on Facebook. "You're reading someone else's life and not creating your own!" Absolutely true.

Do you notice God's blessing in your everyday life? His hands in the direction of your day? See on Thursday Mark was leaving for his trip. Amber said she would take him to the airport. She wanted to use his car while he was gone and also she had errands to run. (normally his car sits at the airport) I had planned on taking him since I had an errand to run too. So come Thursday morning she says I want to sleep longer, you take him mom. I said no, you need to run your errands and it will be good for you to get those things done before you go to work.

Now if I had taken him and run my errands all hell would have broken loose later because she never would have been able to get ready for work with the power out. You really can't dry your hair and do things in a normal fashion. On the other hand if the power hadn't gone out I would not have learned a very important lesson about myself. These little things are Godincidences. I know He is always here with me during the small stuff and the big stuff.

HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY

New post at Debby's Tree.

I FEEL THIS WAY TOO!

Received this in an email and I thought I would share it with you.

Paul Harvey Writes:

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.

I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.

I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car. And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.

It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.

I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.....

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy/girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.

May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.

I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.


IT'S FRIDAY SO I HAVE A NEW POST AT DEBBY'S TREE.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN SIGNS?

Sorry, this is a long one!

I have a wonderful relationship with God. I know that people hear Him speak to them but for me it has always been with signs or what I call Godincidences. An example would be when I happened to have a few handkerchiefs in my trunk (this was before my For Your Tears Ministry), they were embroidered flower ones that I use to pick up at Penney's.

One day a woman came into the Hallmark store I was working at and I could see she was hurting. I have never been afraid to go up to someone and ask them what happened. She was buying a frame to put a picture in of her child and a child who had just passed away, wanting to give it to the child's mother. I ran out to my car to get her a handkerchief and told her that it was for her tears. I normally didn't have them in my car but hadn't taken them out when I had purchased them. See to me that is a sign that God knew before I did!

So on Tuesday after bowling my daughter and I went out to run some errands. She needed to pick up her tax form at Hallmark where she worked for six weeks as Christmas help and I needed to get some Valentines Day cards. (as a side note someone just left the store and she has now been hired as a regular employee, she starts on the 6th) So when we were there I found a couple of Willow Tree pieces that I wanted to buy and I had $20.00 in Hallmark money that they had sent to me. One of the pieces was something that I wouldn't normally buy for myself but I thought I would get it and give it to my husband to give to me for Valentines Day. The piece is called Je T'aime which is French for I Love You.

So later that evening my husband came into my office and sat down next to me on the sofa. He had something to tell me. He just found out on that day that he is going to the UK for 20 days in June. Around the 20th he is flying to Paris and he invited me to go with him. OMG! I could go with him for the whole trip but it won't be until Paris that he would actually have time to spend with me. Then it hit me, how did I happen to buy this Willow Tree piece today with the French wording on it for him to give to me on the same day he was told he was going to Paris! Was this a sign? I believe it is. Our anniversary is the 24th of June which means we would be in Paris to celebrate it. "Joyeux anniversaire"

Well that is not the end of the story. See I am not crazy about flying, how do I handle a long flight like that all by myself. (I am not afraid to die but I am afraid to die in a plane crash) I have a trip to Florida on the 16th of February and I have had sleepless night ever since the trip was booked. I do know that my trip to Florida is important. I will be able to see my brother for 5 full days and my dad will have the opportunity to have all three of his children together in one place at the same time. I would have to say that this hasn't happened in probably 18 years! I am staying for an additional 12 days after my brother goes back to Milwaukee, WI. My husband is coming for last three days before I leave so he can spend some time with my dad too. (my sister and her family are there too)

So what do I do? I was in shock when he asked me, I didn't know what to say, I was overwhelmed with fear. Not only flying but being in a place where I do not know the language. That was before I realized the connection and the sign from God. I am feeling a little less overwhelmed but I haven't made my mind up yet.

This is where the Social Security card and Birth Certificate come in to play. I am going to need a passport! So I ordered my Birth Certificate and it arrived on Friday. I am going to the Social Security office on Tuesday to get the replacement card so when I get home from Florida I can get going on my passport. That doesn't mean I am going but at least I will have the passport ready if I decide to go. Isn't it amazing that at 59 I haven't needed these forms of identification? I had even worked in the school district about 20 years ago, you would think they would have wanted to see my Social Security card!

So do you think this was a sign from God?

Do you think I should bite the bullet and go?

Speaking of biting the bullet I had to get a mouth guard to use during the day because I am clenching my teeth, I guess that is how my stress is coming out. I was clenching my teeth before my Chicago trip too! I do enjoy flying and love when I get to my destination! It's the time before I leave and actually board the plane that I stress about it.

THERE ARE SIGNS EVERYWHERE

I received this in an email and wanted to share this story with you.

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him.

Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions.

One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, 'God! How could you do this to me?'

Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! 'How did you know I was here?' asked the weary man of his rescuers. 'We saw your smoke signal,' they replied.

The Moral of This Story: It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering.

TAKE TIME TO SMELL THE ROSES

I did not write this it was an email I received.

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those people on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said , "How about going to lunch in a half hour?" She would gas up and stammer, "I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain" And my personal favorite: "It's Monday." She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because people cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches.. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of "I'm going to," "I plan on," and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit.'"

When anyone calls my "seize the moment" friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-Decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to...not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand why I sent this to you.

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask "How are you?" Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, "We'll do it tomorrow." And in your haste, not see their sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say "Hi"?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away.... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

Life may not be the party we hoped for... But while we are here we might as well dance!

Want to join me? (I don't want to throw away the gifts that God has given to me.)

I WAS GIVEN A STAR

When I was a young child I woke up one night and was drawn to the window. It was winter back home in North Riverside, IL where I grew up. I think that I may have been seven or eight at the time, I really don't remember. I also know that I had never shared this with anyone and to this day I don't know why. Maybe it wasn't meant to be shared, maybe it was just between God & I. I went to the window and saw a star in the sky but it wasn't just any old star, it looked just like the star we envision the shepherd's seeing on the night Christ was born. That is all I remember of that evening 50 years ago. The above picture is exactly the photo my mind took so many years ago, minus the shepherds.

I have thought about that very night several times in my life and especially around Christmas. I would tell myself that maybe, just maybe, God has chosen me for something special. Something to be noticed for but not something to be famous for.

When I wrote my post on New Year's Eve I have to tell you what happened to me when I saw the handkerchief I mailed to Amanda Buckland. There it was on the table next to her in the interview she did on her local Fox station. I burst out crying. When I think about the fact that I could touch the heart of this woman who lost her family in a tragic fire I had to get down on my knees and thank God for blessing me. In my mind I figured that she would be so overwhelmed with sadness and receiving so much mail that it would be months before she saw the handkerchief that I sent to her. I know that when people are grieving they often will stay away from the cards they receive because it hurts too much to read them. But she had the handkerchief right next to her and it hit me real hard.

So I went right to my blogs and posted about this. I thought that I had to share this with all my friends, I wanted them to know how my heart felt. But what I realized is that this is between God and I. He knows my heart and that is all that matters, it was personal just like my STAR.

MAY GODS BLESSING SURROUND YOU DURING THE NEW YEAR

If you have time please go over and visit Theta Mom and read her post. It's short and sweet and I wish I had thought to do it. (it is my favorite movie)

"It's A Wonderful Life"