HERE'S WHAT IS GOING ON....

This is where I am right now. I'm going to be okay just going through a rough patch of extreme anxiety. I can't seem to get myself together or push myself to do much during the day. I do go to my physical therapy once a week and doctor's appointments, along with bowling on Wednesday's and I do grocery shopping after bowling. 

Obviously going to see Adam, Gabby and James means the world to me and I am very happy when I am at their house. We picked up James at his daycare on Friday and then we spent the evening with them and ordered dinner to be delivered. It was perfect. 

Something cute that James said to Mark on Friday. He said "Papa, you should come over every Friday night to play with me. 

When James comes home he likes to take a break on mama's side of the bed and watch a few things before he eats dinner. I have to say that he learns so many things from what they allow him to watch. He amazes me all the time, along with his parents. 

A few other things are going on which are giving me the anxiety but they are not bad things. I just can't wrap my mind around making decisions on them so it's driving me crazy right now. However, I am okay and feeling well. 

The reason I am sharing this with you is because I am struggling to read posts. I'm trying but if you don't hear from me you will know why.  I know that you all care but you don't need to comment. I will be okay. I would turn comments off on this post but I'm not a fan of that. 

NO HODGEPODGE TODAY

In case you haven't heard, we are back in quarantine again. I'm starting to go crazy. Mark was negative last Wednesday and Friday but on Sunday he tested positive again. Thank you Plaxlovid! Technically he tested negative 7 days after he became sick and 9 days after he became sick. In most normal situations people are back at work after a negative test. Nope, not with the rebound effect of Plaxlovid. 

He's not as sick as he was the first time but he definitely doesn't feel well and has no energy to do anything.  Adam had called and invited us over last Sunday afternoon and we had to tell him the bad news. It is pretty obvious that we won't be seeing them this coming weekend either. 

James asked Gabby on Monday morning, when she was taking him to daycare, "Are Papa and Grandma picking me up tonight?" Right now it is 20 days since we saw him last. I know that many of you don't see your grandchildren often so I shouldn't be complaining at all. James is my happy place! We do have a cute photo of him. He is now into puzzle big time. He was never into the baby ones. 

When we left Amber and Dylan's it was on Friday morning, the day the fair was opening up and we were all going to go. Well they ended up going on Wednesday and had a great time. 

When Mark had decided that we needed to leave he was wondering if I wanted to take a plane home. At the time I didn't want to but since we are in our second isolation now I should have just stayed until he was well  and not contagious anymore! 

Mark has more run of the house than I do but there was no other way to do it. He's in the front of the house but uses his office and the family room because that's where his DVR is. So I'm in our bedroom and my office is off the bathroom area and that is where my DVR is. So of course I wear a mask when I leave my jail and he wears one when I come into the kitchen area which is off the den. We have a good system going, it just sucks that this is the second run. (I haven't been able to use my treadmill because it's up where Mark is staying)

I have two cute new pairs of PJ's for James and we bought him Zoo animals from our favorite store North 40. We have given him farm animals before.  Also got him a cute pair of Paw Patrol briefs. 

Extras for the Zoo

So stay safe out there! 

Side note: My psychiatrist took me off of Prozac on Saturday but that's a story for another time. I was only on it for 3 weeks. 

ANXIETY

I have to admit that my anxiety has been getting the best of me. Just when I thought I was going to be able to have more freedom to do some normal things again the Delta Variant shows its ugly face. Anyone else feel this way? 

I think it was a month ago when I meet my friend Kendra for lunch. First time I stepped foot into a restaurant in 17 months. Obviously I didn't get sick, all was well. Same thing with actually shopping in a store. I went to Target. It felt great. I would normally go to Target almost once a week on my way home from bowling each week. 

So bowling starts on September 8th and now I'm afraid to go. They are not allowed to ask who has been vaccinated and who hasn't. Do I want to wear a mask for 3 hours?? The thing about the new variant is that we can get it and we now want to be very careful not to pass it on to James. 

Next comes a trip to Milwaukee for my brothers Memorial Service and putting his ashes into Lake Michigan. This Memorial Service is being put on by his theater friends. It is at a restaurant where everyone will purchase their own food. 

Do I really want to be in a restaurant with 50+ people not wearing masks? NO!!! I am going to go inside and see if there is a place I can stand, far away from everyone and just watch. I'm assuming his friends will talk about him and I don't want to miss that. As far as his ashes go that will be private with my sister, brother in law and Mark. We will be outside so that is definitely safer.

Then we see the Bears pre-season game on TV yesterday and the stands are packed and no one is wearing a mask. I just wonder who are supposed to believe? 

Now what about flying. OMG....that's got me full of anxiety. Everything I have read says it is safe but is it? We did find a direct flight to O'Hare in Chicago and we will drive to Milwaukee from there. That way we don't have to be at another airport and getting on another plane and the direct flight is just 4 hours long. I think I can handle that with a mask on. 

We are looking forward to seeing my sister and brother in law along with a great niece of ours. I haven't seen them in over 2 years. 

Providing we go as planned we will be doing home tests for Covid when we get back. First will be about 5 days after we get home and then a few days after that. That's because we will be babysitting James for two nights and we can't wait!!!