Friday, September 5, 2014

THE MOMENT

You know the moment when you can't catch your breath, you can't speak, you can't move, you are in shock and the tears start running down your face?

That recently happened and it immediately changed me!

I felt a distressing awakening..........

Distressing: causing anxiety, sorrow or pain; upsetting.

Awakening: an act or moment of becoming suddenly aware of something.

We have a 45 year class reunion in a few weeks. (I still can't believe that number!) We will be flying to Chicago to attend. I've been living in my own little pity party for a long time now.

But I have also been determined to go because I have a few friends that I want to see. I loved High School. I was a terrible student but it wasn't a bad experience for me at all!

Also the fact that we don't know what tomorrow will bring kept me bugging Mark about it for months now. He doesn't want to go. His thoughts are "Who wants to see a bunch of old people."

Going to the reunion is not easy for me. I was the size "0" girl all through High School and I've been dwelling on the fact that it's not fair that people don't know your story.
I've been struggling with my weight for 19 years now after I had been hospitalized for 8 days because they couldn't get my lungs to work right. I spent 18 years on a low dose of oral steroids which I recently shared with you and exercise with COPD is not an easy task. So I eat healthy and do the best job I can do for myself.

I didn't want to go and be judged that way because I am still me, the person I was 45 years ago! By the way, Mark and I were in the same class.  Here is a photo from what looks to be maybe our 10th Class Reunion. There we are third and fourth from the right.......
We received an email update about the weekend and a link to a board with all kinds of facts that we can look up about who is coming, what other things will be going on that weekend that we can go to if we want and then there was the one "IN MEMORY" which hit me like a ton of bricks.

We have lost 39 members from our class of 1969 at Riverside-Brookfield High School in Brookfield, IL. Many of them I knew. I was a fairly popular girl even though I was extremely shy and had no self esteem at all. I ran with the cool kids, many of them Cheerleaders and Jocks but also got along with the groups that were not so popular like the Greasers....that takes you back doesn't it?

Mark and I dated sophmore year for about 3 months and then we didn't go out again until after graduation night. I know that senior year there was a lot of flirting going on between us and we hung with the same crowd most of the time. My prom date and his prom date have both passed away....that just blows my mind!

So when I saw the list the tears just started flowing down my face for those who are gone and I realized just how blessed I am to be alive today. I am going to live each day to the fullest and thank God for blessing me with my life. I will not lay low and hide because life is precious........

Ecclesiastes 9: 7-9 (The Message) 
Seize life! Eat bread with gusto,
Drink wine with a robust heart.
Oh yes—God takes pleasure in your pleasure!
Dress festively every morning.
Don’t skimp on colors and scarves.
Relish life with the spouse you love
Each and every day of your precarious life.
Each day is God’s gift. It’s all you get in exchange
For the hard work of staying alive.
Make the most of each one!


I do throwback Thursday on Facebook each week and this is the pictures I posted yesterday. It is from August 1971 and we are obviously celebrating our engagement. We got married June 24, 1972.


 Here we are last September.
You can't go back you can only move forward!

There is now a part two to this post....

21 comments:

TexWisGirl said...

gosh, that does hit you like a ton of bricks... be well. be happy. and go enjoy your old friends!

betty said...

I liked the pictures of you and Mark, Debby. I am glad you guys are going to the reunion. I hope you'll get a chance to catch up with those friends you definitely want to see. It is sad think fellow classmates have already passed. It does make one appreciate, like you said, the gift of life that we still have. I love your quote about moving forward; I'm going to start adapting that to live more!

Enjoy your time!

betty

Alexis AKA MOM said...

AMEN sister. I have been having the same thing about going to my 20 yr this next month. But as you said we can only move forward and I am who I am bumps (and lot's of curves later ... lol)

Love all the pics!

Debbie said...

I know what you mean. It seems there are constant reminders everyday that each day is a GIFT to be celebrated. So glad you are going to the reunion. You'll have a wonderful time catching up with all your old friends. And yes, we ALL look a little bit different then we did, but those same gals are still there. ENJOY every minute of it!

Great pictures btw!

Sandra said...

I do hope you go since you really want to. go alone.. you will see on my post today how much i have changed in 30 years married to Bob.. time moves on and we age and everyone there will be the same as you are.
the 10th anniversary pic, your husband has hair like mine, except his is white and has been since he was 38...

Rebecca Jo said...

Good for you - go & enjoy!!!! Life is so short...
I bet you'll have a fun time & just have fun seeing old friends.

I hate when insecurities try to stop me from enjoying things of life... it happens all the time for me. I have to think everyone is the same way. But at the end of the night, you'll just have more great memories to over shadow any insecurity.

BTW< you're beautiful :)

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Remember that NO ONE will look like they did back then. You are beautiful and go - have fun!!

Dee D said...

You really gave me something to think about. I've been avoiding my high school reunions for years for the same reason. I think we all wish we looked the way we did in high school. Those were the days. I'm so glad you're going, though and I hope you have a wonderful time.

Blackberry Lane said...

A good reminder and I hope you have a great time!

edshunnybunny said...

Ed and I have lost a few former classmates, too... It's very sobering!

Go and enjoy your reunion, without worrying about your looks! Not one person in your class will still look like they did in high school--I guarantee it :)

By the way, I, personally, hate class reunions, and have never attended one of mine...

Karen Mortensen said...

Have a wonderful time. You look great today.

Chatty Crone said...

Yikes that must hit you like a ton of bricks to have lost so m any.

You are beautiful Debby.

You go hold you head high and have fun.

God doesn't make junk back then or now.

Terri D said...

My 45th will be next year! There were only 47 in my entire class, though, and we have lost 3, I think. I am in touch with may classmates, on Facebook, and we have all aged and spread. Fact of life. You are right - be thankful for each day! Great post!

Nancy Face said...

This post was so sweet!

I graduated in 1980, and my class has also lost too many. The one that hit me the hardest was a sweet and beautiful girl named April who died from leukemia in her early 20's, not long after her marriage.

Yes, we are so blessed to be alive and enjoying each day with our loved ones! ♥

Little Penpen said...

Are you kidding me, girl? You still look great! and no one there will look like they did in HS; I promise!!! I'm 51 and we've lost several class members already, too. It truly is a gift to have a birthday each and every year. Enjoy your reunion!!

KC Bob said...

I loved reading this post Debby. This is spectacular: "I realized just how blessed I am to be alive today." Speaks to me. Also love the pics and that passage from Ecclesiastes - The Message says it well.

Ceil said...

Hi Debby! What a sweet picture of you and your husband at your engagement! (Couldn't help but notice the swag lamp too!) So you are on your way to my side of the country... I live very close to your old high school. (Did you hear the lions roaring?)

I know what you mean about changing from high school to now. I don't look the same either. But as you pointed out, we're here. we're alive. And you are still married to your sweetheart, which is a huge blessing.
Enjoy your reunion, and love every moment of reconnecting. And if you're anything like me, we look exactly like we did in high school in our minds.
Blessings,
Ceil

Mara said...

I hardly remember any names let alone people from high school. I have been to one reunion and didn't know a single person there (apart from two teachers). So, I won't be going to any more reunions.

I hope you will be going though. See your old friends and reminisce. Have a great time!

countrynmore said...

I am glad that you are going. I regret not going to my 20 and 30 year reunions. My husband didn't want to go, and I didn't want to go by myself. Once you meet up with your friends from high school, you will feel comfortable. It is hard to lose friends from high school.

Lea said...

Oh, I'm so glad you are going to your reunion. What a special time it will be for you. And, let me assure you, there will be a lot of other folks there that have changed too but regardless, it will be lots of fun. We'll all look forward to hearing about it. Great pic of you and Hubby!

Sweet Tea said...

Like it or not, "Time stands still for no one". Everyone will look very different and I think you'll find you like them all even more than you did in high school.

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