Sorry, this is long but needed to get it off my chest.
I can't shut my mind off right now. So many things going on and I don't know how to slow down my mind. These are the things that are continually going through my head; conversations with all the new doctors I will be seeing, making plans for company, making reservations for the wedding, bank stuff, my dad, Mark's mom, the kids, Skye, etc......
- My Dad is not better yet. He finally had a CT scan on Tuesday and they can't find anything wrong yet he can't put much pressure on his leg. It appears that falling on the same leg he had surgery on is just going to take time to heal. He is very sad most days.
- My appointment for a new orthopedic surgeon isn't until the 26th of April. That was the first available date when I called a few weeks ago. With all that is going on I am praying that he is the one who will replace my knee and that we can put it off until July. I am in pain most days but there is just too much going on.
- Mark's mom also had a procedure done which didn't turn out as planned. The blockage of a vein in her neck wasn't blocked like they thought so basically it was a waste of time and money. They did however find another blockage but couldn't fix it at that time.
- We will be having company staying with us for the Couples Shower that Adam and Gabby are having in June. That will be fun however both guest rooms need to be painted, one needs new carpeting, furniture needs to be moved and furniture needs to be bought!
- We are taking Skye on her first car trip. We are going to do that quick trip to Montana just to give Amber and Dylan big hugs. No site sightseeing this trip. We will do that in late summer when we visit again. I am nervous about having Skye with us. I'm very over-protective so I'm stressed about it. However she will be thrilled to see them and play with Charlie again.
- We get home on a Wednesday and take off on Friday for a quick weekend to Arizona. Adam and Gabby will be flying and joining us to visit with Mark's sister and her wife/partner Pam. Skye is going and I'm nervous about how she will get along with Stanley. He is a lot bigger than her so I'm worried. To my dear friends in AZ, I can't make time to see you this trip :(
- The wedding in November in Cancun is very exciting and I can't wait, however it is also very expensive. We want to stay at the all inclusive resort and we will but rooms are over $400 a night. Because I so desperately want Amber at her brothers wedding, along with Dylan, we will be paying for them also. No we don't have to but I refuse to have them miss the wedding. I really wish they would have thought about all the family who couldn't be at their destination wedding because of the costs.
- I hate making phone calls. It takes me days to get up the nerve to make them. I finally did it with all my new referrals but I still have some banking issues to take care of and I just can't make the calls. This weighs heavy on my mind each day. What's up with that??
- Speaking of phone calls....I made myself a haircut appointment and wanted one for Skye before we leave for Montana. She is definitely due for one and wouldn't you know it, the girl who grooms her is on vacation until the 26th. So she has a 7 am haircut, I will come home and shower, pick her up when she is done and then I will head out to my orthopedic appointment not stressing at all that we leave the next morning for Montana!!!
- Not to mention all the birthdays each month and the holiday's like Easter which I still love sending cards out for. I just seem a little overwhelmed right now.
So with my dad down most days when I talk to him, my brother going through some upsetting things right now along with Amber struggling with some things right now I myself just wanting to crawl in a hole for awhile. (Well actually I wouldn't mind a beach trip somewhere or maybe sitting at a mindless machine at a casino!) I'm not here to depress you and I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me either. I'm a big girl but sometimes it is just too much for me to get my head around.
I'm trying really hard to go day by day, trying to keep myself busy but not having great results. Mainly I play on my computer, look for movies to watch or watch the new seasons of some Netflix shows to get through the day when actually I should be cleaning out drawers and closets! I need to focus my energy on things that will make me feel in control when things are so out of control right now.
FYI: With the trip to Montana, the trip to Arizona, bowling season ending which I want to finish, the shower in early June and me wanting to go to visit my dad so I can be there for his birthday at the end of June are the reasons why I need to wait until July to take care of my knee. I need six weeks for the recovery period.
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15 comments:
OH MY... I have no answers... except for maybe one suggestion... leave Skye in the kennel both times and strike those 2 off our fret meter.. just sayin... I do know how hard it is to turn off the mind with a lot of things going on. hope it all works out well and I am thinking it will. one other thing, is the bank stuff something you could do online? I do everything on line, have not been in our bank or talked to it in years. just a thought.
You just have entirely too much on your plate right now. No wonder you havent been blogging.
My husbands one daughter got married in Hawaii and we didnt go because we just could not afford it. I hate the whole destination wedding idea.
Wow, Debby, talk about lots going on!!! All such major events too! Would love to see you when you visited here, but family ALWAYS comes first so I totally understand.
Is Skye used to being in the car? Does she like car rides? Koda got lots of car rides but the drive from Montana down to Southern California was hard on him (half the thing was the van was so packed full of things he really didn't have a place to stretch out and we drove straight through, stopping of course for rest stops and food). It did affect his stomach. We got some medicine from the vet (anti anxiety meds) that we didn't use much of. It might have been better if we did because his stomach got all messed up and it cost us a visit to the vet once we got down there.
It will be nice to see Amber/Dylan though.
Sorry your dad is still having such trouble. I can see why he would be down in the dumps so to speak. It sucks as we age and our bodies just don't cooperate the way we want them too.
I can see why you want to crawl in a hole for a bit. Maybe the time taken to watch movies is a good thing to try to de-focus for a bit. I find myself doing that with reading books.
I too am not fond of making phone calls, so I truly understand that aspect about you.
Hang in there! Bit by bit, hopefully things will settle down a little!
betty
I loathe making phone calls and have to make lots of them for my work.
One of my sisters had a destination wedding several years ago and I just couldn't afford to go. It seemed like a selfish thing to me. In my opinion, you have the wedding locally and then go to your "destination" for your honeymoon.
I hope your Dad continues to heal up and feel less sad and your knee surgery can be timed the way you wish. That's a lot of renovating for guests!
Hang in there !! Your guests won't care about the carpet or furniture... cross that off your list!! Thinking of you and your sweet dad!
If any guests complain about older carpet and/or furniture: send them to a hotel!
I know it would be nice for Skye to play with Charlie, but think of yourself as well: to stress or not to stress, that's the question!
As for your knee: if the doctor says now: do it! Your health is important and doctor knows best!
Just my three penny's worth...
You really do have a lot on your plate Debby. The day-by-day strategy helps me. I also find that I do better when I let go of my worries in prayer. Not that I am good at it. Blessings to you in the days ahead.
Oh my goodness! That is indeed a lot and blogging would definitely have to be lowest priority, however, I'm glad you were able to write this down and get it off your chest. I don't know all the situation about your dog, but I do understand your hesitancy to leave her in a kennel. But it also will be difficult for you because of your knee. We traveled with Trudy when she was old and there were times of frustration, but we did it. I would agree with the above comments that you should not worry about paint and carpet at a time like this. I also agree with you about destination weddings, but don't know any solution except the one you have come up with. May the Lord give you peace as you work though these things. I also do not like making phone calls.
Praying for you! You have a lot going on, but some fun things ahead.
Dear Debby, I'm so sorry about the many burdens you have. I will be praying for you. Sending my love across the miles. xoxo
Life is totally keeping you on your toes!!!! Hang in there - things will calm down soon...
Oh man.. that's going to be an expense for that wedding... but I know money isn't anything in the scheme of having family together for a special day. Praying its a wonderful trip in the end.
Hi Debby-you do have an awful lot on your mind and your plate. Speaking as one who understands your reluctance to make phone calls I would encourage you to just do it. First thing tomorrow morning just do it. You will feel so much better and will definitely feel a weight lifted. I so understand this, because I am similar about things like this. Sometimes it helps for me to write them on my calendar and then cross them off once I've done it. A total mind game I know, but somehow it helps. I'm rooting for you. Make those calls!!
I understand your feelings about a destination wedding, as I think travel expense for guests is always a concern. I would want the siblings together too so would likely foot the bill if they can't afford it themselves.
I hope you have a wonderful visit to Montana and AZ and I'm sure Skye will be fine. Do you ever leave him in a kennel? Perhaps for one of the trips?
Thanks for sharing this link on your Hodgepodge, Debby. I can't believe I missed it the first time around. (SMDH ...)
That first image defining 'madness' is great. 'Sounds much nicer than sh** storm, don't you think? :)
Tom's son and his wife opted for a destination wedding in Belize years ago; ultimately, the cost involved resulted in some hurt feelings/resentments. Hopefully, that won't happen to Adam and Gabby. That's so nice of y'all to fund Amber and Dylan's trip.
Gosh, I've no other advice ... just {{HUGS}}.
Forgot to add....
Don't EVEN worry about seeing your blog pals in Phoenix. I agree with Betty, family always comes first! Another time!
wow my friend lot's going on! So glad you get to see the kids!
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