Sorry, this is long but needed to get it off my chest.
I can't shut my mind off right now. So many things going on and I don't know how to slow down my mind. These are the things that are continually going through my head; conversations with all the new doctors I will be seeing, making plans for company, making reservations for the wedding, bank stuff, my dad, Mark's mom, the kids, Skye, etc......
- My Dad is not better yet. He finally had a CT scan on Tuesday and they can't find anything wrong yet he can't put much pressure on his leg. It appears that falling on the same leg he had surgery on is just going to take time to heal. He is very sad most days.
- My appointment for a new orthopedic surgeon isn't until the 26th of April. That was the first available date when I called a few weeks ago. With all that is going on I am praying that he is the one who will replace my knee and that we can put it off until July. I am in pain most days but there is just too much going on.
- Mark's mom also had a procedure done which didn't turn out as planned. The blockage of a vein in her neck wasn't blocked like they thought so basically it was a waste of time and money. They did however find another blockage but couldn't fix it at that time.
- We will be having company staying with us for the Couples Shower that Adam and Gabby are having in June. That will be fun however both guest rooms need to be painted, one needs new carpeting, furniture needs to be moved and furniture needs to be bought!
- We are taking Skye on her first car trip. We are going to do that quick trip to Montana just to give Amber and Dylan big hugs. No site sightseeing this trip. We will do that in late summer when we visit again. I am nervous about having Skye with us. I'm very over-protective so I'm stressed about it. However she will be thrilled to see them and play with Charlie again.
- We get home on a Wednesday and take off on Friday for a quick weekend to Arizona. Adam and Gabby will be flying and joining us to visit with Mark's sister and her wife/partner Pam. Skye is going and I'm nervous about how she will get along with Stanley. He is a lot bigger than her so I'm worried. To my dear friends in AZ, I can't make time to see you this trip :(
- The wedding in November in Cancun is very exciting and I can't wait, however it is also very expensive. We want to stay at the all inclusive resort and we will but rooms are over $400 a night. Because I so desperately want Amber at her brothers wedding, along with Dylan, we will be paying for them also. No we don't have to but I refuse to have them miss the wedding. I really wish they would have thought about all the family who couldn't be at their destination wedding because of the costs.
- I hate making phone calls. It takes me days to get up the nerve to make them. I finally did it with all my new referrals but I still have some banking issues to take care of and I just can't make the calls. This weighs heavy on my mind each day. What's up with that??
- Speaking of phone calls....I made myself a haircut appointment and wanted one for Skye before we leave for Montana. She is definitely due for one and wouldn't you know it, the girl who grooms her is on vacation until the 26th. So she has a 7 am haircut, I will come home and shower, pick her up when she is done and then I will head out to my orthopedic appointment not stressing at all that we leave the next morning for Montana!!!
- Not to mention all the birthdays each month and the holiday's like Easter which I still love sending cards out for. I just seem a little overwhelmed right now.
So with my dad down most days when I talk to him, my brother going through some upsetting things right now along with Amber struggling with some things right now I myself just wanting to crawl in a hole for awhile. (Well actually I wouldn't mind a beach trip somewhere or maybe sitting at a mindless machine at a casino!) I'm not here to depress you and I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me either. I'm a big girl but sometimes it is just too much for me to get my head around.
I'm trying really hard to go day by day, trying to keep myself busy but not having great results. Mainly I play on my computer, look for movies to watch or watch the new seasons of some Netflix shows to get through the day when actually I should be cleaning out drawers and closets! I need to focus my energy on things that will make me feel in control when things are so out of control right now.
FYI: With the trip to Montana, the trip to Arizona, bowling season ending which I want to finish, the shower in early June and me wanting to go to visit my dad so I can be there for his birthday at the end of June are the reasons why I need to wait until July to take care of my knee. I need six weeks for the recovery period.